Dont Be Shalloww

There is something i want to address specifically this time and that is shallowness in terms of the way people look.

For school I dont talk to many people because people hardly talk to each other here at all. Every now and then though, I run into a friendly Person. Another thing, since i dont talk to many people at all here at school i dont try at all with my appearance. Often times i will come in my pj's or random t-shirts i dont like because I just really dont care...I'll come with my hair unbrushed and sometimes in slippers. I figure, no one is going to talk to me anyway so why even bother.

In my comparative history of the americas class, I sat next to this guy. I dont even know what his name is. Lets call himmmm john. So so i sat next to john and i have been sitting next to him for the whole semester so far. We started talking en stuff and passing notes during class. This class is SUPER boring so it was nice to have someone to communicate with. this lasted for about a month.

He then realized that the girl behind me is waaaayy prettier than i am. She went up to the board this one time and she has the nicest butt i have ever seen. I could get anything i want with a butt like hers. Anyway, so she is reallly really pretty. She is tall and has long hair plus the butt thing. I used to go to school with her ironically. Her sister was in my sisters class. So he realized how much more pretty she is than i am and stopped talking to me. I havent heard a word from him in a few weeks. He sits in his chair farther back so that he can chat with the girl behind me more. He doesnt even look at me anymore...this saddens me.

Lets get some thing straight though:
I DO NOT have any sort of crush on him physically OR romantically. He is quite unattractive actually. He fills his hair with gel, his breathe stinks, he talks too loud, and he has a mole on his cheek.

Why am I sad that he doesnt talk to me anymore? :
Its nice to have someone to talk to at school every now and then. School is usually hours of boringness and being alone. Both of which i hate. To have someone to chat with twice a week during school hours was kinda nice.

So then comes up the whole shallow thing. Whenever he is talking to her I think: I guess if i was as pretty or prettier than her, then maybe he'd be talking to me. Heck, maybe i would have friends here if i was prettier.

Of COURSE there are attractive people. OF COURSE some people are prettier than others. Some people are hot and some people are not and some are in between. Go ahead and acknowledge it. There is nothing wrong with noticing how attractive someone is. There is nothing wrong with telling someone that you are attracted to them physically. Nothing. My point is completely beside that.

My message to the world is, you can acknowledge the beautifulness of people but dont treat them any different than you would treat the unattractive people. You should treat mostly everyone the same. Everyone should be treated the same. Love someone you think is unattractive as much as the most beautiful person in the world. Making it harder for uglier people to gain attention or love is just wrong.

God doesnt let beautiful people into heaven easier than he lets ugly people.

from the deep thoughts of mag's soul...

-magg

brandon

Brandon wrote this for me. I dont understand how lucky i got to run into him or how God was generous enough to give someone like him to me. I dont deserve him... it scares me but it only makes me appreciate and love him even more.


Every single second, every minute of the day
Even those moments when you are near or away
I’m always thinking only of you and imagining your touch
Thinking of a way to prove to you how I love you so much.

When I am away and you need me near
You have to remember I will always be here
For inside our hearts where no one can see
I am with you and you are with me.

I love you more than anything and everything <3

Imogen Heap

She most defff is a gift to music. She continues to amaze me ....



woow... she just blows my mind.

Thoughts sitting in history...

I'm tired. this class is boring. Its been like the only thing i've been posting on my blog though. So right now he is talking about some guy in history that hit another important guy in history with his cane and it broke. Later some merchants bought him another cane that was inscribed with the words, 'Hit him again'. hahahaa thats some good stuff right there.

I got some people to come to catie's party. I need more though. A lot more. woah abe lincoln wasnt so great looking. hahaa.
hahahai thought i was bored...the girl in the front is on her laptop too and she has text highlighted and she is going through her fonts one by one.

I'm kinda of embarrassed at our civil war because we had just become a new country and then we go and kill each other....tsk tsk.
I guess we needed it though. Slavery is bad.

twenty mins left. but i came late so i shouldnt be complaining.

poop. we are getting into our lame-o groups to play a game to get ready for the midterm. peace.

comparitive bloggingg

I wrote this during my history class on thursday....hahaa so i wrote it on theee 5th


so i finished the drawing for fraserr. I'm stuck however for another 30 mins in this stupid history class...

I got new goggles O: for swim...they are green and blue. They were surprisingly cheaper than i thought they were.
New pair of goggles would cost how much?
a) 8.99
b) 6.95
c) 5.96
Answer is at the bottom of the page.

Ooo i know. I can talk about the doctor's. I had a physical this morning because i've been having headaches like everyday and i'm always tired. I'm so ready to take a nap right now. Anyway. There were a few weird things that happened.

First off. I hate needles. scary business....i couldn't look at my arm while she was taking my blood this morning. She kept asking me if i was okay Nice lady. Once i had a nurse who just made fun of me.
"Haha you cant be scared of needles at this age. Be strong. *laughssss*"
Me: "BE STRONG THISSS!!" *karate chop*

she was mean. Anyway. After the nice lady took my blood, she bandaged me up and walked out to get something and i started laughing. I couldnt help it. I just burst out laughing. The inner choirs of happiness just burst out in glorious laughter. The blood part was doneee!!! I felt kinda insane though. I had to compose myself for when the lady came back.

She took my wieght. Apparently i weigh about the same as a baby hippo. Good or no good? or you might die good?

She took my height...and guess what. Mag grew like an inch in the past year. I am 5'4 folks. Watch out world. Tall mag means business....

omgoshes. yesterday, my other history teacher said specific ocean. I was trying to hard not to laugh. I should have said, 'Be more pacific professor luna'

20 mins left. yargh. The girl in the front is such a suckup. She laughs at everything that is potentially funny that our professor says. Her laugh sounds like she is hiccuping for air.

I cant wait to go for a two hour swim after this. I didn't go on tuesday cause i was a lazy butt. I had just turned in my 4 page paper. I hated writing that thing. The weird thing is, i sat in front of my computer just distracting myself the night before for like 4 hours. I procrastinated and i just didnt know what to write about. At like 1 i went to sleep having only done one and a half paragraphs of my 4-5 page paper. The next morning i got to school at like 8 and i was finished with it by nine. I even had like 15-20 mins to proofread it. I dunno what happened. I was just on fire that morning or something.

I think it would be cool to write a diary of a princess diaries kinda of person. Only the girl wouldnt be a princess. I could make her like 1/4 something else that is cooler. Hm. Maybe like i dunno...1/4 related to abe lincoln. That doesn't even make any sense.

I'm trying to learn a song on the piano for brandon. I'm doing good so far. I need to be a little faster on some parts but it is enjoyable. At some point I'm going to finish learning claire de lune and fur elise. I know i prolly butchered the spelling of those...

hahahhaa the girl behind me i went to school with. She is whispering to the guy in front of her which is the guy that sits next to me and the tone of her voice sounds like she's having an orgasm. I would hate to have a voice like that. It would be like an invitation to rape me. You could say anything and the rapist wouldnt take you seriously...."No....stop...leave me alone...someone help mee stoooppp" If you heard that coming from a girl who sounds like she is gasming through the whole thing the rapist would be thrilled. He's like, I guess she likes it. I'm a lucky guy.

ten mins ten minssss ten minutes
woah i almost forgot how to spell minutes. It was the weirdest thing ever.

Its kinda like the other day, i was over thinking the word every and its actually a nice sounding word. Its like ivory but a little softer. I would name my girl every. Ev for short. If people thought about it as a name, they would think it was pretty right?

I have to peeeeeep. dang. we still have like 7 mins.

I get to see Brandon on saturday :3 hopefully. if not i guess i can do the garage sale by myself or i could go interview the homeless people on my own. hmmm

oh snap i am huungryy. i wasnt allowed to eat anything 12 hours before the stupid physical this morning. 5 minutes 5 5 5 5 555 5 555 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 55 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5

ooof

I like that word. I like the sound of ooooof. The thing is. Once you add another f, it diess and becomes off. So you have to be careful when typing the word oof.

3 mins. I'm going to pack it up. Peace. I will post this on my blog later.

History class on thurss

Okay. I figured that this keeps me sane in this history class. Its nice to have something to put up on my blog too.

meh last night was a messsss.... and i miss Brandon.

Stupid distance... when i think about it though. At least i have him <3 I don't know what i'd do without him.

ouch...my head hurtsssss.

hahaha most of the people who tried looking for gold in 1849 faaailedd....tsk tsk
I can't get over how young my history teacher is. He can't be over 25 or 26.

I figure if i ask questions he will be accuainted with me and will give me a better grade? He's nice. I mean, there's nothing wrong with him. I failed both quizes though. I do the homework. Hopefully that will compensate. And i have 5 page paper to write yaayy...

la la laaaaaaaaa

I love how demetri says "A mobile hoome with a flat tire is just a hooomeee..."
bahhaa

I'm not writing as much because i'm actually trying to pay attention. I was dying of boredom last class for some reason. Its not so bad today.

I feel like being from a different country makes you cooler. Like the guy in front of me was just a normal mexican but then he told the class that he moved here from chile a few years ago. Now i look at him and think, "Hey. There's that cool guy from chile..."

coolness thumbs up.
I'm going to hire some people to follow me and fan me with palms someday. That would be funny.

Or do that thing that one of my friends did to his freshman. Have him dress up like a pokemon and i can say "Pikachu thunderbolt NOOOWWW!" and he would have to squeeze his little but cheeks together and scrunch his face and and scream PIIKAAAAAA....!!! it would be cooler at night because then he could use real sparks at night to give it more of an effect.

history class over. bye byee

History classsss on Tuesday

I’m in history. Bored. My teacher is really young. I’m thinking he is like our age. Not older than 25 anyway. I would be rich if I got a dollar for every time he said, “For the most part…”

HAHA he just said yosemeti is overrated. Idc though. I still wanna go. And that Sequoia is underrated. Hmmm…

Maybe he is secretly like 18. And a super genius. Maybe secret super geniuses teach at community colleges. Hmm…

I take notes though. Don’t think I’m just sitting here doing nothing. He just hasn’t said anything usefull yet. My mom paid 60 dollars for this class. I’m so sorry mom.

Ooo. Mt. Whitney looks prettys. Its white. Like the white witch from narnia. Woah we have a volcano O:

Now he is showing us pictures of Friscoooo. Bahah. I have been there. A long time ago. But I’ve been there. I wish I was a princess. Mia lived in San Fransisco.
Omg. The annoying girl isn’t here. I just noticed. How exciting. Ooo. Now a picture of San Diego Bay. I wish I got internet here…this is like a random class room that is barely connected to the real campus.

Buzz buzzzz….yay a text message. Lets see who its from. Brandon <3 He misses me. I miss him too =(

Woah death valley pictures. The rock left a trail….strange….they don’t know why. I guess it happens all the time? Its like that pizza episode of sopongebob when he drives the rock to the guys house bahah. I love you spongebob.
Apparently. In about 40 million years, San diego is going to break off and slide on over to Alaska. We better start planning. I don’t want my grandkids to the power of 20 million to be freaking out when the land starts to move to Alaska. Oh gawshh….they are going to turn into Alaskan Eskimos.
Ughh I have a paper to write for this class that is due next Tuesday. And it has to be five pages AND we can’t use the internet. I guess I will have to find some historic scrolls or drawings in caves to base my info off of. I don’t have time to read whole books for that.
He’s said for the most part like 3 times already. 45 mins to go of this class. I have a headache. Oucchh. I’m so tired. I’m always tired. Grrr..
Buzz buzz new text…Brandon <3 “Watcha doin?”

Me: “Meh. In history class. Boring my bransies out.”

But I am doing a lot of things like sitting and breathing and listening to my boring history teacher. I’m thinking about other things I’d rather be doing. I’m thinking about you…..

Buzz buzz new text…Brandon <3 “Aw I’m sorry”

Me: “Oh well x3”

Omg…I just tried to actually listen to what my teacher was saying. I think a little piece of my brain went BEEP BEEP Beeeeoooooowwwwww……*dead*

Too boring.
I have to save my brain for better things like petting hippos or having donuts with fish. Yes fish love donuts. I am a fish expert.

My teacher has those old people shoes…those ones that rich people like Sherlock wear while smoking a pipe and sitting in a chair next to their fireplace going puff puff puff.

OMG BREAKING REMEMBERING NEWS (meaning breaking news but I knew it from before….its just now that I remembered it): Catie thought Sherlock holmes was a female until yesterday. I was dying.

Buzz buzz new text…Brandon <3 (hahaha this one stays secret. I don’t want to embarrass him xP)
That reminds me. Fraser has been starting to text me again. Its been about a year since we’ve really talked. I can’t get over how random it was. He has been recommending movies and such and he wants me to draw him another pictoor….which I still need to get started on. I will probably do that during astronomy tomorrow.

My teacher’s handwriting is atrocious…. Its like his pen is a mini jackhammer that spits out ink onto the board.
Or maybe its like he is trying to write with a pointy rock. I haven’t decided. The guy that sits next to me doesn’t take notes. Haha

I might go to mexico with esthela in may. I’m so excited. I’m kinda scared though. There hasn’t been one day since we’ve been together where we haven’t talked. I make sure I reserve time for him every single day. I feel crummy if I don’t get time with him. When I go to mexico…

Buzz buzz new text…Brandon <3 he misses me…

I miss him too bleh…stupid distance.

When I go to mexico I won’t be able to contact him at all. No phone no text no internet. That will be soo hard. I can call him but the long distance will cost so much. I will have to work something out.
I should start dance already. My mom said she would pay for it. And I miss it so much.
21 mins left of class…I’m so tired. Bah

buzz buzz new text…Brandon <3 he can’t stop thinking about me

same goes for me. Not a minute goes by where I’m not thinking about him regardless of what I’m doing.

I wish I could paint a picture with my brain. Maybe I could see how my mind works that way. There are few people that understand how my mind works. Its like they are in the same paragraph of the same page of the same book. In my mind I am counting around 6 people. Hmmmm
I have to peeeee….i always have to pee. I’m going to need to wear a diaper if I ever get preggers. I wouldn’t make it lmao. Why can’t guys get pregger??? Not fair….we are already physically weaker. I don’t see why the stronger gender couldn’t give birth.

So I have a new addition to my amazing smiley faces. Fraser made this one up though. I think its genius.

Clam: (: )

Hahahah

He showed me that after I showed him my walrus (:3)

Ahh i have to pee….brb

Back

Brandon texted me while I was going to the bafroom.

He wants to quit tennis so that he has more time with me….I really don’t deserve the way he treats me. But that means he’s a good boyfriend right?

I always had this gut feeling that I would be a good girlfriend. I think I am. I try as best I can with the distance anyway. He said something to me the other day that I will never forget. I saved it haha. Here it is:

“you are so beautiful. and so perfect in every way. im sorry. i know you dont like me saying that cause you dont think you are. but you really are. extremely attractive. you make me feel better than anything else and nothing can compare to how i feel when i am with you. and i am in fact addicted to you. i never want to let you go.”

Who says things like that?!? Brandon <3 that’s who. And he tells me that I’M the more romantic one….well take a look at that folks. Clap clap clap.
Omg I hate this classsssssssssss…….7 mins.

I typed out about 3 pages of just pouring my thoughts out. Nice mag niceee

So. Coff coff. My weight is at its peak. It has been increasing alarmingly. I hate it. I am trying to do something about it. I’m hoping its muscle weight from swimming? And other things…..? hmmm.

4mins….

Okay..i’m packing it up peeps. This while end up on my blog later.

Nighty night.

Brandon

So over the past six months or so, I've been collecting songs that remind me of Brandon and how I feel about our relationship. I finally got enough songs to put on it and gave it to him on valentines day. Here is the list of songs:
1. Untouched – The Veronicas
2. Everything, All – The Wrong Trousers
3. All Around Me - Flyleaf
4. Starlight - Muse
5. Tell Me What To Do – Metro Station
6. If I Ain’t Got You – Alicia Keys
7. Yellow – Coldplay
8. Closing In – Imogen Heap
9. Love Story – Taylor Swift
10. Soul Meets Body – Death Cab For Cutie
11. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
12. No Air – Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
13. Come Here – J. Holiday
14. Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
15. In My Life – Beatles
16. Bruises - Chairlift
17. All is Full of Love – Bjork
18. Put Your Arms Around Me – Natasha Bedingfield
19. Such Great Heights – Postal Service
20. Come Away With Me - Norah Jones

I meant to bring my ipod with me so that we could listen to them together when I took him to the fountain in balboa park but i forgot.

He's done so much for me and opened my eyes to things i've never felt before. I didn't think my heart could be so full of love. He says and does things for me that i don't deserve. For this and many other reasons I love him. He says sweet thing to me that i will carry in my heart forever. Today he said to me, "Every time i blink i see your face..." The moments I've had with him are better than any movie or song could ever express.
I could type and endless amount on how much he means to me or moments we've had, but i simply wouldn't have the time.
I thank God for bringing someone like him into my life; for being generous enough to give me someone who would so willingly grant me their unconditional love.

Usher

Amazing....this song and video is romantically sexy. Its the best when you combine the two characteristics. Its why people who have one night stands or no emotional atattchment to the person are missing out....


Beautiful song AND video. took my breath away.

Pain

Its really painful to watch your best friend at soul, struggle emotionally with happiness and then physically hurt themselves.

Its painful to go days without seeing the guy that feeds your spirit with happiness and love.

Its painful to have your best friend be on the other side of the country.

Its painful to be the outlet of someone's frustration because you are inferior.

I could go on. A lot of things are painful. But every happy memory and every happy thought gets us through everything. And it is those things that keeps us going. Its those things that make life worth living.

WIthout struggle, happiness would be a blank piece of paper because we would know nothing else.




(Mag's deep thoughts of the day)

Love

Experiencing these is way better than reading about them. Its a side of me that only Brandon sees. I read about them anyway =) The last one is perfect for me.


"... See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."
--Gretchen Kemp

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."
--Robert Sexton

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you made me smile, I would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand."
--Unknown

I can forget my very existence in a deep kiss of you.
--Byron Caldwell Smith

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
--Unknown

Gente

I was just sitting with Esthela and her sister Rosa. They are so funny...we were talking about one of Esthela's nieces. Then Muffin ran up and sat next to Esthela all excited. And then they started laughing and Esthela was talking to muffin ans she said, "Los animales son gente." And then her sister agreed whole heartedly and said, "Si si. Si saben pero no pueden hablar."

I was cracking up. I really do love them. So much.
I love you too Brandon. I'm almost done with that playlist. AND i saved 25 dollars of the money you gave me. We are going to go to the movies. Kay?

Prince Caspian AND Lion/Witch/Wardrobe ftw.

Here is a picture i took of esthela and muffy. Hero status right here.


And one last thing. I can't stop listening to shiver by coldplay....I swear it was inspired by something non-human. No song is THAT good.
ciao

Starshine

Could this girlget ANY cooler....omgggggg

i wish i was herr

Thomas the Tank Engine

I just bought his album on iTunes =)

is there something wrong with me? maaybee

happy birthday my sweetness <3

Bad Bands

I really want to try to keep on doing these. Sooo just really quickly. These are bands that i really can't stand. I would rather eat food off of assfault than listen to these bands. ahem

1. Pink
2. Fall Out Boy
3. Green Day
4. Red hot chili peppers

can't think of any more

and random fact: In this last month of november i sent and received 3294 text messages. jeeezzz

aye luz you brandon <3

Mime

I'm so desperate for distractions...
I haven't talked to anyone for awhile. Besides my mom. I miss catie.

I'm going to be a mime for halloween so that I have an excuse to not say trick or treat. Win/win situation.

I'm going to watch the second harry potter movie until i fall asleep.

Night.

Daily

My life as it is normally.

I wake up and take dominic to school.
I go to school.
I pick up dominic.
Watch some tv.
Come home and help cook dinner.
Eat dinner as a family.
I help clean up.
I do some homework.
I go online and talk to usually the same people:
1. Brandon. CANNOT go a day without talking to him. Thats just the way it is.
2. Anthony. Good friend. Funny
3. Random others. These people vary: Ex. Marissa, Eddie, Devin... random people from blog.

Usually fall asleep sometime after 12.

Then i wake up and do the same thing.

I'm okay with it I guess. It could be better. It could be worse.

I really really really miss Marissa.

bleh.

Hopefully things will change. Catie isn't making anything easier. Her story is crazy. I won't even go into that.

bye

Congratulations

After listening to the song Congratulations by Blue October I told Catie and a few other people my theory on what the song meant. Its about a guy who was best friends with a girl. He was in love with her. Eventually she ended up with someone else besides her best friend. At the wedding, the guy approaches the girl he fell in love and tries to congratulate her for getting married but ends up telling her other things instead.

AND THEN stephenie meyer put it on her playlist for Breaking Dawn. It was perfect. Its like we were thinking the same thing when we heard the song. The two best friends: Bella and Jacob. Bella gets married to edward and Jacob goes to her wedding and tries to congratulate her....

My obsession with these books is baaddd..... oh well. The meaning inside of them is what created the attachment between me and the books. I'm glad i met her when i had the chance =)

I hope the movie comes out ok.

And marissa saw the guy that looks like edward in her head :O woooww

.:bai:.

Numb and Sensitive

I have a cold. HOPEFULLY just a cold. My body likes getting bronchitis. I've had it twice already. I hate using the inhaler thingy....its weird.

My mom has been giving me medicine for it. My body has been reacting very sensitively towards it. I always feel slightly high and numb. How do I know what high feels like? Just guessing. Everything tickles. I feel like everything is within my reach. I feel like i'm not even in this body at all. I feel like i'm just watching through the eyes of my own body, but I can tell the body what to do. Every muscle is numb....not numb enough that i can't feel it though. Its like all of my muscles are on the borderline to being numb. So that every muscle is ticklish. It tickles...

Earlier i was walking....I didn't feel like I was walking but when i commanded my feet to move forward, they did. It feels slightly dreamlike. Very strange.

I'm thinking that my body is just very sensitive in general. When I have soda, just normal soda, i get ridiculously hyper. I get this numb feeling when i take benedryl too. The sleepy kind anyway. If anyone merely rubs lightly against me, i laugh. I'm crazy ticklish. After club inferno, my ears were ringing for 3 days. I couldn't hear my own car beep for a whole day. That was reeally weird.
I have to be careful when i'm all numb like this though. I do and say stuff that makes me look stupid.

I was at the store earlier....i could tell that i was full on loopy from the medicine but i thought i was doing a good job containing myself. Apparently not though because i did something really stupid. I was looking at the TV's. They were OBVIOUSLY tv's. But i touched it. I thought it was touch screen. WHY would it be touch screen though? it was obviously a tv.

sigh. And then on top of that haha.... I started talking to MYSELF. haha I do that anyway but this time really made me sound crazy. I was like, "Why would you touch that? Its not a touch screen." jeebuss...

oh well. Right now I'm doing an ok job.

nvm... not doing such a great job haha. I'm at KFC waiting for dominic who is in his class across the way. I'm chatting with cody and he just showed me this video that made me laugh so hard I almost cried. And all of the old people in the corner are giving me crazy looks =)

Im used to it. But i just couldn't help it. thanks cody!

heres the link to the video. WARNING: you may literally die of laughter...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2yv8aT0UFc

-mag

Lost

I just recently lost everything on my computer. All of my music. All of the conversations i had with people. All of the pictures i drew or made for people. All the pictures people made for me. I don't have microsoft word anymore. The home videos i made with my cousins. (Not that i was going to let anyone watch them anyway.) All of the music tom wrote that we recorded together.

Everythinggg.... sadface. I've accepted it though. And I'm going to move on.

The top 3 things i will miss from my computer. May it all R.I.P

1. My conversations with marissa, brandon, and fraser.... faelirughaleirghv;eirw
2. My Music... oh how my range of music had grown after i had my own computer. I still have a lot to discover after i recover what i have lost.
3. the pictures.... all of the picturessssssss!!!! sooo maaaannyy.... oh my jeeeeeeezzz.... sssiigggghhhh

top 3 things that ended up being good about it
1. My computer is freeaking faster than the speed of light now. haha
2. They cleaned it for me. And replaced the keyboard. It looks new.
3. Thats it. I must cling with dear life to the two reasons above and move on.

I have nothing to complain about though. I'm lucky that i even get the things i get let alone my laptop. I deserve much much less.

Moose

In memory of the zillions of convos we had online not including the hours offline, here is a strange little piece of one of them... I had forgotten the 'a' that day...

bell: -puts a poist-it note on her head-
OfSilentBeing: -writes "mine" on the post-it-
bell: -tires to look at post-it-
bell: -goes cross eyed-
OfSilentBeing: -pulls it off and holds it in front of bella-
OfSilentBeing: -then puts it back on her-
bell: hm -doesn't comprehend-
OfSilentBeing: comprehend this: -hugs bella-


Happy Birthday.

Moony and Padfoot

Yes yes...i have made many friends online. I know I'm a loser so don't waste your time telling me again. My online name is usually bella or mangos. For safety reasons and for twilight obsession reasons. Through flash gear or myspace or whatever I have made a few. Here are a few of my favorites from ones that i had with Moon and Padfoot. I miss them dearly and have no contact with them any more. They had the most unique and strange relationship. So strange that I became friends with them very easily.

They were both guys. 18 years old, both of them. And in love with each other. No, Moony and Padfoot from the real harry potter story did not fall in love but these two did. They were so funny i can't even begin to explain to you how entertaining they were. I saved several of our conversations. Sometimes i read them and i laugh out loud at the things we talked about. The three of us went through a lot. It used to be the four of us, including Rae. But she got grounded and disappeared for a loooooooooong time. It was saddening.
and one last thing. They are English. FUNNY English guys. They say funny british stuff that reminds me a lot of the humor J.K. Rowling puts in her books. Anyways. Here is ONE of them. R.I.P our random convos. <3 I'll paste more in the future.

Remus = Moony
ILoveTesco = Padfoot
bella=me

bella: *looks around* >.>
ILoveTesco: Is there room for me?
Remus: If I move, possibly. -tumbles out of hammock onto e-floor-
bella: :O Remus
ILoveTesco: Awww
bella: I will remember to buy the King-Sized hammock next time?
Remus: I'm too... jointy for hammocks anyways, it's all knees and elbows.
ILoveTesco: YUS BELLA
ILoveTesco: Stabby elbows
bella: ouch
Remus: Elbows of knife like proportions
bella: *winces*
ILoveTesco: That stab you in the ribs
Remus: But you have shins of steel so we're even.
bella: So graphic >.>
ILoveTesco: Yus
bella: *deep sigh* I haven't seen Rae in ages ...
bella: I blame you two XP
ILoveTesco: I know! Where is Rae!!!
ILoveTesco: I miss her
Remus: She mourned us.
ILoveTesco: :(
ILoveTesco: My thumb hurts
bella: She seemed to have disappeared when I first reunionized with you two ...
bella: Are you cursed by any chance?
Remus: It's our return then, she dislikes us and hid/
ILoveTesco: :S
bella: With any anti-rae spells?
Remus: I blame Sirius' parents.
Remus: for everything.
Remus: in the world.
bella: :O Of course she likes you
bella: Blasphemy
ILoveTesco: The last thing I remember speaking to her about was a
Little Red Riding Hood
Remus: Including sombreros.
bella: That was so long ago
ILoveTesco: I LIKE SOMBREROS
ILoveTesco: Yeah bella :S
Remus: -makes dying noise-
bella: Sombreros are apart of meh Heritage
bella: :D
ILoveTesco: Sombreros rock. Stuff you Remus
Remus: -non committal wave of hand-
ILoveTesco: Don't give me that
bella: Oh is he fussing about the large hats?
ILoveTesco: Yes
bella: Intriguing
Remus: In my head I am too busy reliving Halloween.
Remus: I was traumatised by a sun hat.
bella: :O
bella: You poor soul
ILoveTesco: *tut tut*
ILoveTesco: Iccle Remmy
Remus: I was eight and some boy buried me in the sand and put a big
hat on my head and nobody found me for ages.
ILoveTesco: Aww
bella: DX
bella: oh noes
ILoveTesco: Remmy makes me think of vroom
ILoveTesco: It sounds odd. ew
Remus: Makes me think of Gambit.
Remus: -ponders-
bella: gumbo...
ILoveTesco: Oh... hush. Your face. Hush it.
Remus: <--silenced but pondering
ILoveTesco: Hush your brain
bella: *raises hand vigorously* question...
Remus: <---silenced but still alert.
ILoveTesco: Everytime I saw a stripey yellow scarf I didn't go 'ooohh Wolverine'
Remus: Yus Bella?
ILoveTesco: Yus
bella: Why do you type wot instead of what?
bella: *curious*
Remus: You go, Oi hufflepuff.
bella: mhm -nods-
ILoveTesco: Yes, not 'Wolverine' then
Remus: I do not.
bella: hm ...
ILoveTesco: I don't type wot?
Remus: <---thoroughly scandalised
Remus: <---SCANDALISED.
bella: why with an 'o'
bella: Dear Padfoot has a clone ...
Remus: I am a sub teacher bella, I have to spell correctly.
ILoveTesco: BUGGER
ILoveTesco: I LIKE SPELLING
bella: Oh .. I see
ILoveTesco: I didn't just type that. But I don't say wot
bella: hum
Remus: I am confused. When have we spelt what with an o?
ILoveTesco: Oh god, I feel used
bella: Well most english people spell it with an 'o' here
ILoveTesco: They are bloody mental
bella: But apparently you two do not
bella: Intriguing
Remus: Ah, so we spell it with the a but others don't?
ILoveTesco: Obviously, because 'wot' doesn't make sense. That's like wotsits
Remus: Or wotcher.
bella: hmm
bella: They say
ILoveTesco: Neither of which make any sense are are annoying
bella: Wot are you talking about...or wot is that
bella: its strange >.>
Remus: Ah
Remus: you mean on the internet?
ILoveTesco: I feel unclean
bella: yes yes
ILoveTesco: Oh, internet slang
bella: *sprays Padfoot with Simple Green*
ILoveTesco: Some people can't be bothered to type properly so they
make fools of themselves
ILoveTesco: WHY GREEN?
bella: Thats the name of it!
Remus: I have a stick up my arse and it makes me picky about internet spelling.
bella: Simple Green ...
ILoveTesco: WHATS SIMPLE GREEN?
bella: It cleans
ILoveTesco: Oh. Thank you
bella: :O you don't have simple green?
ILoveTesco: No...? Do we Remus?
bella: It is an all purpose spray
Remus: No?
bella: My personal favorite
Remus: We have Mr Muscle
Remus: And Flash.
bella: WHAT?!
ILoveTesco: Yeah, and Dettol
Remus: Superhero stuff.
bella: Does it flex things clean?!
ILoveTesco: And Windolene!
Remus: Only when Sirius uses it Bella.
bella: Pfff
ILoveTesco: M'buff
bella: I see. *snickers*
Remus: Very.
ILoveTesco: Hahahahaha
bella: >.>
Remus: -spasm-
bella: Mr. Muscle *giggles to death*
ILoveTesco: I think my owl went walk about
bella: Here clean this table with MR.MUSCLE
ILoveTesco: I swear to god Bella, google it, lol
bella: tee hee
Remus: Mr Muscle, I mean, Pads, I found your owl. He was eating my windowsill
ILoveTesco: Hahahaha
Remus: Nrg.
ILoveTesco: Poor Raven, he's deluded
Remus: Nevermore.
ILoveTesco: And an apron
Remus: Forget Mr Muscle, Hood's my new favourite.
ILoveTesco: There's a cleaning agent called Hood?
Remus: How else did I end up in the bathtub?
ILoveTesco: Oh?Oh
Remus: It was obviously strategic.
ILoveTesco: You are some sort of ice queen
ILoveTesco: ?
Remus: Lady Macbeth?
ILoveTesco: Mother?
bella: oh dear.. I spaced out
bella: UGH curse unlocked doors!
Remus: Bella, you're brbin but s'time for sleeps so Bye x x
bella: *throws a fit*
ILoveTesco: Bye Bella :(
bella: Goodnight Sirs
bella: :D
Remus: -waves and staggers off to bed-

the end...of only that convo.

Errrghhh

My mom wanted me to go pick up my brother. I told her i didn't want to because it takes like 30 mins to get there without traffic and it was like 5:30 already. She was closer.....waaay closer. We both ended up going there on accident. She never said she would go get him, so i went to go and pick him up. She put words into my mouth like she always does and made me look like a selfish prick to my dad. So my dad is mad at me because I am the one who didn't communicate properly.

I'M in trouble becase I didn't tell my mom I would go pick him up. MOM DIDN"T TELL ME EITHER. Mom NEVER told me that she was going to do it, so I did it. Its EQUALLY our fault. I'm the kinda person that would just say "Oops, we both came to pick him up on accident. I'll make sure to tell you next time." and laugh it over or forget about it. BUT NOOO

My mom ALWAYS gets super pissed about this kinda stuff. No one died! It was an accident!

The only reason I am mad is because I am supposed to take total blame for this whole situation. According to my mom, its a huge deal and its 110% my fault... I'M getting in trouble that was equally the fault of my mother.

And since I'm on a liquid diet with marissa, I drink milk for meals. There is no more milk. Since I am in trouble, I can't ask for anything. So tonight my dinner is water.

You don't have to freak out mom. Its not a huge deal. We miscommunicated. You don't always have to over react. The getting along thing was going good....don't change it now...

No Food

haha ironic how my last entry was food because I am not eating anymore. I have not eaten for 3 days so far. Nothing but liquids with marissa since thats all she can eat. I'm good with it though. I'm always hungry but oh well. Knowing that marissa is doing it too helps.

we can do this missa! x]

FooooOd

The other day i went shopping with tom, veronica, and my aunt at Ralphsss. Tom and i got some pasta and then snuck over to the fruits and vegetables section and made faces in the fooods when the worker people weren't looking. x]

i take a lot of pictures now that i figured out how to blootooth the pictures to my laptop. xP

p.s. Brandon is officially one of the most amazing people in this entire universe.

Me and Catie and are watching all of the offices we have xD
Jimbo and pam are meant for each otherrrr.... haha

Yesterday

I FROOOZEEE.... D: I didn't say ANYTHING. I'm such an idiot pooh in the face. But what was i supposed to say??

anyways...

I'm supposd to talk about yesterday.

Our family went to the pier with the cousins to see fireworks. Rosie and Veronica didn't go because they have boyfriends T_T . So i guess the cousins would mean tom, grams, and aunt susie.

While we were wating for them to start, we got hungry. So me, tom and catie walked downtown to find somewhere to eat. We were late coming back so the fireworks had already started on our way back, but i saw the most beautiful thing, so i didn't mind being late. As we were walking, we were still somewhat between tall some buildings. We could see four different areas where fireworks were going off from where we were standing. It was sooo pretty... Some of the fireworks even reflected off of the buildings so it was like i was standing right in the middle of a dozen fireworks going off around me. It was amazing.

Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette is an AMAZING mooovie.... I'm watching it right now with marissa for like the billionth time. haha...

so since i couldn't find simple green at the store, i bought some leave in hair conditioner for my hair that smells AMAZING. And it helps the waves in my hair behave... I was in a hurry this morning to it was in my car when i gave daniel and sam a ride home. Daniel found it and wanted to try it. When he smelled it he decided that it smelled too girly for him haha. He had it in his hand and tried to put it my MY hair. it was cute because he didn't know what he was doing.... xD

anyway. I dunno why i like putting pictures up so much now. I go through photobucket a lot and i found this one. its rediculously emo but its SO CUTE. I LOVE IT. x] Someday.....that will be me....someday... hahaa

FOoooOd

A mango that was shaped like the moon and a potato chip shaped like a heart.

Heart Room

This is a picture marissa took of my feet and a part of my room....God Bless her talented soul.
I really love this. You have noo idea. Its beautiful in almost every way. Its my heart...

Simple Green

I WENT TO THREE STORES AND I CAN"T FIND IT. vv

i feel bad that i don't have it for her :(

she's asked for it for a long time...

The family is coming home tomorrow.

I shall sleep on the waterbed for the last time tonight. I really need a snuggle buddy though. That would be nice right about now...

And stephenie meyer's discussion on L.A. is sold out. SADFACEEE
Marissa and I are going to go to comicon though. There will be stuff on it there. yay x]


Dear God,
bless those I love,
bless those i do not know,
bless those i dislike,
and may the dislikes become more appealing to me.

Stealing Straws

I had a pretty good weekend...

I didn't think I would because marissa was still camping until saturday and i thought i was gonna by all by myself again T_T

But it was aweessooomee...
Tom freeking cracks me up. I can't breathe sometimes because he makes me laugh so hard. I've been hanging out with him after work everyday. These kids that were playing basketball outside his house thought i was his gf T_T I hate it when that happens but oh well. On friday me and tom went to hang out with annalee. We went to a japanese marketplace called Mitsua (sp?) haha We ate and talked en stuff and then we went to get drinks after. I got a mango tea and it was AMAZING. Except the boe-bahs(sp?) were grossss.... Since there were boe-bahs in the drinks, the straws were HUGE .... they were soooo cooool Tom stole some for me before we left x]

All week work Daniel has been texting me haha. He's crazy, but funny. The other Daniel texts me too but he doesn't live here so we can't really hang out. Anyways, I didn't have anything to do on saturday and i slept until like 11 and Daniel from work, called me and wanted me to come over. Soooo I took a shower and went over to his house. We hung around his room and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Fatory. That was fun.

AND THEN...zomgg

We went over to his friends house because there were no adults there and his friend had a nice house en stuff..... I ended up sitting at the end of the couch. Daniel got kinda tired and put a pillow on my lap and rested his head there. I played with his hair while we watched a movie. It was ridiculously entertaining... Not the movie though. The movied was horrrible. haha After awhile of that marissa called and said she was home. YES!!

So i went to hang out with her even though i had to leave Daneil's hair. sadface. But i missed marissa like crazy. We talked non-stop about like eeverrythinggg.... hearts to you missa.
Today I went to church and hung out with veronica and then Tom and I came back to my house to watch these videos my mom wanted him to watch. We ended up falling asleep on the couch lol But it was still entertaining. We had pizza en stuff.

Not a bad weekend...

Melanie and Jared

This is the excerpt of the book I was reading that made me forget where i was once I was done reading it. Their love is AMAZING...something I hope to have someday.

And stephenie meyer is a Genius.......

(Coming Soon)

Daniel and Family

I'm in tom's room hanging out.
No more crying i decided. My eyes are still not back to normal yet....bleh.
After two long weeks of this misery i think I'm finally Ok though...

I've gone through something like this three times. It never fully heals....ever. But I can eventually move on. I can move on THIS time for several reasons.

1. My family loves me. I may not recieve the type of love that I want from them because I can only get that kinda from a guy, but at least its love. Until I find the kind I want, my family is there for me.

I've been hanging out with my cousins a lot. Especially Tom. He'd be my closest guy friend and prolly as close to a guy as I'll get for awhile. He really makes me laugh and i just love him.... I get him in trouble with my grama and its HILARIOUS. funny stuff.

2. Green. Green makes me happy...i dunno why. I went through photobucket and found some a LOT of icons and put them on my myspace.

3. Work. Work has been helping me think of other things. And when i don't have anything to do there, I read and Stephenie Meyer is an AMAZING writer. I forgot I was at Work. The romances that she writes about are incredible....its like she took every girls dream and wrote it down. If only guys like that really DID exist. v.v I'm making a separate entry for that.

Co-workers. I was sitting bymyself but two guys decided to come and sit with me at lunch now. Daniel is the more talkative one. They are really nice... and I don't have to sit alone anymore. We hang out during breaks too. Daniel was asking me a LOT of questions.... a lot.... He found out that i don't have a lot of friends haha...he said he was gonna take me places and introduce me to people. that should be fun hopefully.

4. Blogtv. I've been broadcasting a lot and co-host with Daniel(different than work daniel) or Marissa. Its like T.V but on the internet and people can come and watch. Since I have a webcam, its easy to broadcast and people actually come and watch me and talk to me in a chat right next to my broadcasting window. They type to me and I just talk back out loud. Some of them are really weird, and if they're tooooo weird then I have the power to kick them out of the chat or my channel or whatever. The nice normal ones re pretty coool. And very nice. I met daniel on there. He's funneh. He has a cam too and wanted to co-host one day. I decided why not, and now he co-host with me all the time if I'm not co-hosting with marissa.

I'm watching so you think you can dance.... love this show.

I'll be ok.

.:bai:.

I Should

I should erase everything we talked about in the pink and green box we used to have. Re-reading it over and over again doesn't help.

But everytime I re-read it, i think, I'll just keep it a little longer...

Crying doesn't help either. And it makes my eyes hideously puffy for over 24 hours... Jeff kept thinking I was really tired at work when I'm not.

I need to suck it up and get over it.

GET OVER IT MAG now!

Daniel is going to call me on thursday. That will help. I think I might visit Raf. And I've been hanging out with tom and ropo and veronica alot. It doesn't make everything go away because i remember again when i'm alone but they are good distractions and i like hanging out with them.

I miss marissa.
I miss Catie.

this would be my heart < X 3

wow I'm emoo now x]

.:bai:.

Ironic

How ironic that some of the last words were

Turn your frown uspide down. At least I'm not leaving forever.

Meehh

bella aches emotionally and physically without him. She cries over him and goes numb.

Somewhere in this crazy life,
We can become confused and lost.
Somewhere in the world of chance,
We pay more than things should cost.
Somewhere in this magical ride,
We may stumble and fall to the ground.
Somewhere in the Dark of night,
We can lose what we have found.
Somewhere in this crazy world,
We do everything the same.
Somewhere in our normal lives,
Some of us will become insane.
Somewhere at a point in time,
We may lose our mind's true sight.
Somewhere with the shining sun above,
Would have become as dark as night.
Somewhere from there to here,
We can start to lose our grip.
Somewhere we may lose all hope,
And feel we are about to slip.
Somewhere things are different,
Better than what we think.
But things can change so easily,
As quick as just one blink.

Pie Cones

Pie crust needs filling. It has cried at its departure. Thats just how it works.



here's a part of a convo i had with eddie. pretty freekin hilarious. It helps to read about something happy.

chemistrybeaker: good!
magdalena Rymer: LOL
magdalena Rymer: once me and catie were acting really drunk
magdalena Rymer: and we remembered that you always said that
magdalena Rymer: and for like an hour thats all we said
chemistrybeaker: LOL
magdalena Rymer: ahaha
chemistrybeaker: i can picture that
magdalena Rymer: and then
magdalena Rymer: when we had to leave...
magdalena Rymer: dominic made me sit in the very back of the van
magdalena Rymer: and i said
magdalena Rymer: "Black people...BACK OF THE BUS!"
1:20 AM
chemistrybeaker: hahaha
magdalena Rymer: it took you that long to typ ethat?
magdalena Rymer: for real?
magdalena Rymer: xD
chemistrybeaker: i missed the enter button
magdalena Rymer: k
chemistrybeaker: i kept pushing shift
magdalena Rymer: >.>
magdalena Rymer: <.<
chemistrybeaker: I . I
magdalena Rymer: x]
chemistrybeaker: that's your eyes looking forward
magdalena Rymer: whaaat?
magdalena Rymer: ahahahh
magdalena Rymer: OHHH
magdalena Rymer: LMFFAO
chemistrybeaker: wuha
magdalena Rymer: omg
magdalena Rymer: i can't breathe
magdalena Rymer: haha ok...
magdalena Rymer: i think i'm good
magdalena Rymer: how do you know that they aren't cones?
magdalena Rymer: HMMMM?
chemistrybeaker: I have this feeling
chemistrybeaker: deep in my heart
magdalena Rymer: omg
chemistrybeaker: that they aren't cones
magdalena Rymer: ahaha
magdalena Rymer: you
magdalena Rymer: def
magdalena Rymer: need sleep
chemistrybeaker: i do!
chemistrybeaker: work starts at ocho tomorrow
magdalena Rymer: omgawsh
magdalena Rymer: jeebus
chemistrybeaker: i know
chemistrybeaker: i should seriously get going now!
magdalena Rymer: mhmm
magdalena Rymer: imma finish this moovie
chemistrybeaker: it was awesome talking to you
magdalena Rymer: likewise mah home skilet
chemistrybeaker: good night and peace afuera
magdalena Rymer: ciao

Wish

Why not a time when things weren't going so horribly. ugggghhhh

i hate being a girl. I hate it all. all of it. bleh

I wish i got to hang out with so and so more often....

I wish that i didn't have a stupid mini-van so that i could have visited fraser in april when he was close and wanted me to.

I wish I wasn't in arizona anymore. Its too hot. And i want to hang out with marissa.

I wish i had a million dollars.

I wish i had clearer skin.

I wish Catie didn't go out with that guy.

I wish I hadn't stayed out in the sun too long.

I wish that my parents weren't upset with me.

I wish that Fredrick would leave me alone....I don't like him.

I wish that fredricks mom was nicer.

I wish too many things.

I wish i had a mango.

13

So far things aren't usually as they seem. Just when you get the hang of things it all disappears into something else.

I'd have like to thought it was going to be ok but i dunno if they will be. It was the first time i let myself go. The very first time I didn't care how much i put myself out there into the range of being able to be hurt. That was a bad idea. This next part will take forever. Longer than forever i think because its happened before but never so strongly.

Thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks for letting me know. Thanks for all of the false hopes that I got in return. Thanks for the next year or so to come. Thanks for taking that vulnerability that i don't think will be available to anyone ever again. Thanks be honest and coming to me. Thanks.


whatever meh.

Missa to the Rescue

baha missa <3



mangos: Dead yet?
9:41:47 AM mangos: x]
9:41:56 AM youareriddikulus: not there yet
9:41:59 AM youareriddikulus: P:
9:42:02 AM mangos: bahaa
9:42:06 AM youareriddikulus: raf hasn't come to pick me up
9:42:13 AM mangos: ohh
9:43:00 AM mangos: bah i'm twitching like crazy
9:43:02 AM mangos: after running
9:43:06 AM mangos: how do i stop that?!
9:43:42 AM youareriddikulus: hahah
9:43:45 AM youareriddikulus: keep running?
9:43:52 AM youareriddikulus: you mean like your legs right?
9:43:57 AM mangos: and my arms
9:43:59 AM mangos: haah
9:44:45 AM youareriddikulus: intereseting
9:46:09 AM mangos: imma showa
9:46:10 AM mangos: burb
9:57:46 AM mangos: mookays
10:06:59 AM youareriddikulus: whoa whoa wwhoa
10:07:03 AM mangos: ?
10:07:10 AM mangos: was my internet being stoop
10:07:11 AM youareriddikulus: you okay?
10:07:14 AM youareriddikulus: hahahhahahahahha
10:07:15 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:07:16 AM mangos: LOL
10:07:19 AM mangos: I"M FINE
10:07:21 AM mangos: xD
10:07:22 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHHA
10:07:28 AM mangos: why do you ask?
10:07:35 AM youareriddikulus: i don't know
10:07:37 AM youareriddikulus: i though maybe
10:07:42 AM mangos: thought*
10:07:44 AM youareriddikulus: someone was like attacking you
10:07:47 AM mangos: D:
10:07:48 AM youareriddikulus: signing you on and off
10:07:52 AM mangos: lmfao
10:08:00 AM mangos: -Struggle as I sign off-
10:08:08 AM mangos: -sign on punch punch-
10:08:10 AM mangos: -dead-
10:12:46 AM mangos: lmfao
10:12:54 AM mangos: question marissa O
10:12:56 AM youareriddikulus: hahaha
10:13:00 AM youareriddikulus: hmmmmmmmmmmmm??????????????
10:13:02 AM youareriddikulus: answer
10:13:05 AM youareriddikulus: ????|
10:13:18 AM mangos: Whart would you have done if i had not answered to the "are you okay?"
10:13:22 AM mangos: Theres not much you could do
10:13:26 AM mangos: WHAT*
10:13:37 AM youareriddikulus: haha whart
10:13:47 AM youareriddikulus: whart i would have done
10:14:14 AM mangos: v.v
10:14:57 AM youareriddikulus: would have been to steal rafs car (even though i can't drive it and would subsequently led to both of our deaths) and driven to your house and bash open your door to kill your attacker
10:15:10 AM mangos: BASH
10:15:12 AM mangos: hahahahaaa
10:15:15 AM mangos: ahahaha
10:15:24 AM mangos: subsquently
10:15:26 AM mangos: hahaha
10:15:41 AM youareriddikulus: well i probably would have called your cell phone first though
10:15:42 AM youareriddikulus: >.>
10:15:47 AM mangos: hahahaah
10:15:51 AM youareriddikulus: you know before taking it to the next level
10:16:15 AM mangos: next level
10:16:25 AM mangos: My attacker had it coming
10:16:30 AM mangos: son of a bish
10:19:01 AM mangos: omg
10:19:07 AM mangos: everytime i look at this wondow
10:19:10 AM mangos: i start alughign
10:19:17 AM youareriddikulus: hahah wondow
10:19:19 AM mangos: and today i'm being tested for dysliexia
10:19:22 AM youareriddikulus: i'm laughing too
10:19:26 AM mangos: x]
10:19:31 AM youareriddikulus: wait really?
10:19:32 AM youareriddikulus: no
10:19:35 AM mangos: haha
10:19:37 AM mangos: not really
10:19:41 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:19:47 AM youareriddikulus: well why do you laugh at the window
10:19:57 AM mangos: because o f the words inside of it
10:20:02 AM mangos: now i'm gonga to meditate
10:20:06 AM mangos: going*
10:20:10 AM youareriddikulus: whattttttt
10:20:12 AM youareriddikulus: wow i
10:20:13 AM youareriddikulus: am
10:20:16 AM mangos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAOooooooooooooOOOOoooooooommmm
10:20:17 AM mangos: DONE
10:20:18 AM youareriddikulus: cofused
10:20:21 AM mangos: good
10:20:24 AM mangos: stay that way
10:21:16 AM youareriddikulus: so raf got here
10:21:25 AM youareriddikulus: but he doesn't want to take me to the office
10:21:31 AM mangos: xD
10:21:40 AM mangos: I could take you if you want
10:21:46 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHAAHHA
10:21:47 AM mangos: pencil you into my busy shedule
10:21:50 AM youareriddikulus: wow i do not want
10:21:52 AM youareriddikulus: hahahah
10:21:58 AM mangos: haha
10:22:29 AM youareriddikulus: raf doesn't want to stay and he knows if he drives me he will have to stay
10:22:40 AM mangos: ahaha
10:22:44 AM mangos: mookays
10:22:56 AM mangos: the offer stands as tall as the satute of liverty
10:23:02 AM mangos: staue* ?
10:23:06 AM mangos: Statue*
10:23:17 AM mangos: liberyt
10:23:19 AM mangos: LIBERTY
10:23:34 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHAHHAHAHs djghirtaurtie vhagdfzv
10:23:35 AM youareriddikulus: fagiu dsfudsasaff
10:23:40 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHA
10:23:43 AM youareriddikulus: omgizzle
10:23:45 AM mangos: I don speak dutch missa
10:23:47 AM mangos: >.>
10:24:14 AM youareriddikulus: i think my typo habit is rubbing off on you
10:24:26 AM mangos: maybe on the day i was born
10:24:29 AM mangos: you were in TJ
10:24:33 AM mangos: touched my hand as a babeh
10:24:45 AM youareriddikulus: also the statue of liverty isn't that tall
10:24:46 AM youareriddikulus: HAHA
10:24:50 AM mangos: SAY WHAT
10:24:53 AM youareriddikulus: yeah okas
10:24:55 AM mangos: YES IT IS
10:25:04 AM youareriddikulus: not as tall as like
10:25:10 AM youareriddikulus: something else...
10:25:14 AM mangos: no marissa
10:25:22 AM mangos: it doesn't scrape the edge of the oZone layer
10:25:28 AM mangos: but that doesn't mean its not tall
10:25:30 AM mangos: x]
10:25:40 AM youareriddikulus: well you know
10:25:42 AM mangos: WOAH
10:25:47 AM mangos: POOH ALRET
10:25:48 AM mangos: ALERT*
10:25:51 AM mangos: mag is being a pooh
10:25:52 AM youareriddikulus: it's not as tall as say
10:25:57 AM youareriddikulus: ME
10:26:02 AM mangos: O:
10:26:10 AM mangos: we're talking about the one in NY
10:26:27 AM mangos: I saw national treasure 2 too >.>
10:26:57 AM youareriddikulus: and i am talking about
10:26:59 AM youareriddikulus: ME
10:27:07 AM mangos: humm
10:27:11 AM mangos: now I'M lost
10:27:16 AM mangos: oh wellskie
10:27:18 AM youareriddikulus: hahha jk
10:27:24 AM youareriddikulus: i guess i'm not that tall
10:27:27 AM youareriddikulus: BUT
10:27:33 AM youareriddikulus: there is something taller
10:27:38 AM youareriddikulus: it's called mt. everest
10:27:47 AM mangos: there's something taller
10:27:49 AM mangos: air
10:27:50 AM mangos: ?
10:28:13 AM youareriddikulus: the cn tower is pretty tall
10:28:27 AM mangos: hummsie hum hum
10:28:43 AM youareriddikulus: and the sears tower
10:28:48 AM mangos: v.v
10:28:52 AM mangos: the offer stands
10:28:55 AM mangos: is my point
10:29:01 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:29:03 AM mangos: baha
10:29:05 AM youareriddikulus: thanks

bah

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb


Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj










nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn



























v.v







mooshashashashahshadsdheilgrughelkrjdfhglvkjerf

ARGH

WHY...

Its almost two thirty in the morning.

I can't sleep.

I have to get up at 7 to take dominic to school.

Summer courses were FULL.

I feel sickkkk.....like i'm going to throw up.


Bleh.

I've been feeling sick for some reason.

Make it stop.

bleh.

Ily God.

kuhljghkfgd

bleeeehh

THIS IS WHY

I'm mushy. very very very very mushy and hopelessly romantic, which is why i LOVE twilight....and here is a perfect quote to explain about that part of me and about why i read Twilight....enjoy.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddently everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. when you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everythign went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.''

Done...

School is done....thank goodness. I hope to accomplish a lot of things this summer. Def get in more running.

But today was almost perfect.
I slept in.
I woke up and chatted online for awhile.
I picked up rosie and we hung out at marissa's house allll daaay.
Me, raf, tess, rosie, and marissa played rock band for like 6 hours.....
It was nice to just hang around and not have to worry about school work.
And rock band is super fun. I got to play drums.
And me, tess, and raf played the drums all at once at one point....haha
I had the yellow,green, and blue one, raf had the red one, and tess had the bass. loved it. haha
I'm glad marissa is home.
I'm glad i had a good day.
And by AMLOST perfect.....i meant only one thing was missing.
But it was still a good day.

.:bai:.

Fifteen

I was taking a shower and when i got out I fell.....


and I hurt my ankle. grrr I'm such a clutz... DX


I just dowloaded Forever by Chris Brown and now I have exactly 1500 songs.

The song is amazing.

I wonder how long I'll last before i get another song.

peace.

mathh

Sarge made a hand written entry once. I liked it. :) so here's mine.

Smelly

Warning: kinda of a feminly entree and mostly complaining....just a heads up.

So I had to go to the dovtor's to get tested for cervical cancer because i'm 18 en blah blah blah....I was already freaking out before hand because i HATE going to the doctor's and when i go there....they had all of this stuff that they were going to put in me! D: I was freaking out.... I don't want ANYONE shoving anything up in me until I get married. UGH! Especially a stranger!!!! DX Grosssssssssss!!!!!

But then....I was saved.....because she had to ask me questions beforehand and the first one was, "Are you having sex?"

I Am not sexually active so I said no and THEN she said that I DIDN"T HAVE TO DO THE EXAMINATION THING! THANK GOD! Thank you God. Thank you.

I don't have to do the stupid thing until I become sexually active or until I'm 21. Soooo 21 It is! yussss....

BUT the torture wasn't over........she made me take this REALLY painful vaccine for an STD that I DON"T HAVE. She said it would be better if i got it before I became active en blaaaahh. I was sooo angry D: and freaking out all over again because I haaaaate neeeeedles for life DX aaaaarrghhhhhh

And this one hurt even more than usual.....and THEN they took my pee. AND they took like 3 tubes of my blood from the same arm ahhhhhh hhhhhhh


I hate the doctors D: I really really hated the past hour. And now my arm is sore and I have to go study for math and go to a stupid gs meeting.....uggghhhh

AND the Doctor's smells funnyy ew ... a BAD funny. D:

My arm hurts. meh.

Sorry this was just mostly comlaining. -_-'
.:bye:.

The Search

So the other day I went to Target with Rosie and Catie to buy my mom a present. We kinda all split up in different directions though haha. Catie and I re-united in the cards section to look at one for my mom. At the end of the aisle there were like 20 smow globes on a shelf and Catie and I wound alllll of them so that the music was going all at the same time. It was HILARIOUS. haha...i took a video of it on my phonee.

Anyway. So, yes I m religious and yes I am in the choir and yes I really can't stand country except for a few exceptions...

Just because I am in the choir does NOT mean I like all of the music. I'm ok with most of it. There are a LOT of worship songs that i really cannot stand for some reason. That does NOT mean however that I don't love God. I just really don't like most of the stuff you find on T.V about worship CD's en stuff. I dunno why.

I DO NOT like country. I really really don't. I draw the line at Shania Twain. I lover her. But basically all other country is on my nono list.

So the weirdest thing happened...Catie and I split up again at Target. I was in the electronics section because there's always cool stuff there. I was looking at these earphones that they were advertising. I put them on and pressed the demo button and I heard this song.....and fell in love with it. It was weird because 1.) I CANNOT stand country D: and 2.) It was a religious song that wasn't from church...I like very few religious songs that we don't sing in church.

But this one was AMAZING. I had nooo idea who sang it or anything though because it was a demo D:
So I recorded it on my phone and my momm helped me figure out who sang it and stuff..... ty mom <3

"The Search" by Dolorean

Love it. Dunno why. Its very old folkie. haha
Another good random country sounding religious song is Alison Krauss's Version of "Down to The River to Pray"

I have heard many versions, but hers takes the cake. Dunno why.

the end
.:bai:.

Cuz For Life

Tom is my cousin. And I'm sick and tired of my parents telling me that I could technically marry him if i wanted to. NO MOM. NO DAD. He is my cousin. I don't care that we don't have the same blood. I have several and many reasons why I would never marry him or even think of him in that sense. GROSS!! He IS however one of my closest guy friends, considering we've grown up together. So.....CATIE, you too, need to stop bugging me about it. It's gross....YES I like talking to tom and I like hanging out with him. Ok? I could in fact give you a list of reasons why i would never think of tom that way, EVER. ugh. Catie, its like telling you that you could marry dominic since technically he isn't your brother because you are adopted too. Gross right? Same thing here.... anyway. I was over at grams house, and i was going to say hi to tom but my grams said he was sleeping because he was exhausted because he let someone hit him with a bat.....It was for some art thing, but i was truly scarred. He had a performance and wanted to get his point across i suppose but I couldn't handle it all that well. Seeing someone I care about be beaten up like that is scary. Very very scary...... Here is the convo I had with him about it.

magermuse: tom!
magermuse: whyyy
magermuse: did you let someone hit you
magermuse: with a bat
10:40 PM
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: you watched it???
magermuse: O:
magermuse: there's a video?
thomashamiltom: did you read the note??
magermuse: i was over last night
thomashamiltom: OH SHIT!!!
thomashamiltom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sAytoBLAVY
magermuse: and i was gonna say hi
thomashamiltom: lol
magermuse: but grams said you were sleepers
magermuse: and you let somone hit you
thomashamiltom: o yeah i was POOPED
magermuse: and you were an idiot she said
thomashamiltom: yeah i was exhausted
thomashamiltom: HAHA
thomashamiltom: she was sayin that tonight too when she watched the video
thomashamiltom: WATCH IT!!!!
magermuse: i am
thomashamiltom: its all real
magermuse: but omg...i'm scared
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: its amazing to me
thomashamiltom: my mom is still watching it
thomashamiltom: for like the 6th time
magermuse: DX
magermuse: tom
magermuse: i'm like freaking out
magermuse: i think i'm gonna cry
thomashamiltom: hahaha!
thomashamiltom: dude!
thomashamiltom: i have welts
magermuse: ahhhh
magermuse: tomm
thomashamiltom: and i loved every second of it!!
magermuse: don do this again DX
magermuse: pleeeease
magermuse: meh
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: next time you have to watch
thomashamiltom: but i dont plan on doing something twice so dont worry
magermuse: ok...
magermuse: how could someone agree
magermuse: to hit you
thomashamiltom: unless its BIGGER
magermuse: like that
thomashamiltom: lol
magermuse: WHAT
magermuse: bigger
magermuse: you're crazy!
thomashamiltom: it tok a LOONG time to convince him
thomashamiltom: and he went up to mom after the concert and apologized to her
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: hes so nice
magermuse: D:


i really hope he doesn't do this again. ugh.

b.j.n. MISS YOU

Meh

I'm such a jerk D:

why can't i just do it. ldkfaklsjglwiekrghilier

Armm

I was talking to cailtlin for like an hour on the phone....and my arm is soore. Laaaaameeooo


xD

math bleh

Almost

So steph told me when the Twilight movie is going to come out and now everything i think about it, I'm SUPER excited but partially regretful. Why? here is why:

Veronica is as obsessed as I am with the Twilight series and was searching anything that had to do with the movie around november. She found a list of people they still needed to cast. One of them was Angela. They wanted a hispanic for the role. She doesnt do or say much at all. She is just one of the friends of Bella that sits at the same table and stuff. But anyway. On thanksgiving when Veronica came over, she told me I should send in pics for Angela's part. I didn't think too much about it because they would probably choose someone else etc. etc. Veronica kept telling me I should and told her SHE could do it if she really wanted the pics to go in. So veronica took a couple of pictures of me from my comuter and sent them in.

THEN a few weeks later, the agent or secretary or whatever for the casting director called me :O She told me that the casting director loved the pics. BUT before I could audition, i needed to give a 30$ fee. I didn't have the 30 dollars ... and i was not going to ask my parents. I hate asking them for money and it was for a movie. Long shot that they would choose me and i would sound really stupid haha. But anyways, they called again a few weeks later to see if I could sign up yet. I didn't have the money bleh.

Now I'm going to go see the Twilight moovie and see Angela and think, if I had had the 30 dollars, that could have been me because the casting director liked my pictures. Oh well! It was a long shot anyway. An Almost haha

Andrew, you took my snapple cap! grr.... And look at me when I"m talking to you! I feel like you're ignoring me....My art teacher looks behind us when she teaches and it bothers the crap outta me. You look at Catie when you're talking to her!! LOOK AT ME! ok... sorry i got kinda angry there >.> anyway.....

My mom just texted me the word 'yes'. I have no idea what she is talking about -_-'

I have to go do some math now....

.:byebye:.

Ahhh Flares

Two days. I need a distraction. meh.

Catie told me about this guy who tied flares to some balloons in texas and let them go up at night. Everyone was freaking out because they thought it was a UFO haha. Funneh.

Miss you

.:bai:.

Graceful Dog

I saw a cat the other day without a tail. It looked like a graceful dog. >.>
weird ha



.:bai:.

Anyway.

I am going to the party anyway -_-


God grant me mercy please and keep him away.....pease. meh. I was stuck either way i suppose.

Mango Tree

soo boored. gah

I drew this >.>

Mexican Fossil Bon Fire

I'm booored blah. I'm at my mom's school. It was either come with mom and be stuck or stay home and then go to Church boy's brothers party and I already have to deal with church boy at church and catie wouldn't go with me so i wouldn't be alone so i was stuck going with mom. blah Stuck here for who knows how long....and they block aim here grr. I'll be a fossil before she decides we should leave. meh. O: but then I can be oil for future generations that need oil for cars and such.


So last night i went to a mexican party for Esthela's nephew. I LOVE going to these things because physically i crave mexican food every now and then. Real mexican food, which i can get from Esthela and her family members. Plus most of Esthela's family is freaking hilarious. haha. Reasons i don't like to go are some....

1. Esthela always tries to pair me up with some of her other nephews. meh. She tried getting Catie and I to dance with a few of them. Of course I wanted to dance! But not with them! No offense... their pervos...I'd rather dance with Catie or someone like that.

2. They drink like craaazy. Haha its really funny sometimes but sometimes it gets kinda weird. Like last night a two year old was drinking a bottle of beer and no one cared...that was a little ridiculous. I would have snatched it away from him if his dad wasn't standing right next to him....his dad obviously didn't care. They gave some beer to Catie and I. You can't really refuse anything from a mexican because they take the answer yes as a yes AND the answer no as yes. They feed you and feed you and give you more and more and more.... so anyway. I drank a little to be polite because I told them i didn't want any but them gave me some anyway and I forgot how Hooooribble it tastes.. BLEH gross! I ate three chunks of lime to get rid of the taste...meh. Nasty nasty.

haha....I ate soo much x_x it was the only meal i had all day though because i knew they'd feed me more than i could handle. AND we got los of mexican candy O: woo!

Right now my sister and i are texting because she is supposed to be doing hw and not talking to me. Anyways. She wants to know what she needs to bring to have a bon fire and i told her she only needed two things. 1.A fire and 2. A bon.
baha I'm so helpful.....

peace out for now

.:bai:.

One

Its almost one -_-....


And I just woke up.

I'm such a bum! I can't do this again >.> What a waste of a day.

Real Dreams

So every now and then I have dreams where I think they were real. Its kind of annoying because I'll do stuff in reaction to dreams i had. Like once I had a dream where someone texted me but no one did but I responded to that person anyway. Embarassing..... I check my sent/inbox box every morning before I text in the morning now haha. Just to make sure.

So there's this guy that sits two rows in front of me in my Philosophy Class who has shoulder length hair kinda. He got it cut. Buzzed actually... BUT the next time I went to philosophy class it was all grown back! Conclusion: I dreamt that he had gotten this interesting haircut. I was so confused. I thought I was crazy. >.> I am but whatever.

peace out...for now

.:bai:.

Argh

A whole day..... D:


anxiety sucks! meh

sadface

Nom nom

omg

Esthela made us caldito con pollo with frijoles y arrozzzzz and it was AMAZING. I won't have to eat anything the rest of the night xD


There was a pamphlet thing on the outside of my window and I rolled my window down to take it off but it just went down with the window and didn't come back up :/ oops

Mr. Bolland had black hightops on today :O exactly like mine. He's awesoome.

And i noticed that drivers stare at me....STOP! I'm human. Get over it. Their prolly debating whether I'm asian or mexican....sigh... oh well. peace out

.:bai:.

Sexy Jesus

OMG.....So I'm on youtube watching Kevjumba because he is hilarious, and i saw an add and it said, "What Would Sexy Jesus Do?"


WTF?!?!?! nooooooo don't do that!!!! D:< so disrespectful ugh!

I found out it was for a stupid moovie called Hamlet 2. UGH! Imma hurt someone.......prefferably someone who was involved in making the movie possible. grrrr

The movie better be about praising Jesus or something. Not giving otu slogans like What would sexy jesus do.... nooooo pleasse noooo

We'll see....ergh

Pink Pokemon

So if you were to ask me what my favorite kind of food was i would say mexican. Esthela makes AMAZING mexican food. Love it and love her. The dominator and I went to go visit her and she made us food like she always does and i asked her if she had lemon. She told me she did but she wanted me to try some of this other stuff she made first. So she made lemon juice and soaked some purple onions in it.... I was a little weirded out at first because the lemon juice ended up turn pink from the purple onions. It was very tastey though :O gracias esthela

I painted my nails this really light pastel lavendar color but it looks kinda pink sometimes. meh I really don't like the color pink but it looks nice in this semi-purple ish pinkish color. whatevs.

My brother got a new pokemon handbook. I found out that evee has two new evolved forms. What the heck?! Three was fine! Don't mess with the original ones ya hoebags!

the end

p.s. Internet connections need to behave.......for seriously......peeeeeeaas?

.:bai:.

No no no

People....do not put rims on minivans. No


Girls do nooot wear different colored bras under white shirts meh

and lastly.

DO NOT wear rosaries as jewelry DX no no nooo

bad ! Rosaries are not a fashion statement. They're for praying. And wearing it around your neck looks tacky.
AND DO NOT GET A TATTOO OF A ROSARY AROUND YOUR ANKLE. (girl from art class)


.:buh bye:.

Just In Case

Brandon! Just incase I don't get to talk to you today, I uploaded my hideous drawing for you onto my photobucket. I tried but its not nearly anywhere at all close to how good you artwork is.

.:bai:.

Cuts on Faces and DDR

For some odd reason.....I noticed that i find cuts on people's faces extremely attractive.

Whhy?? i really have no idea.

I like seeing a cut on a guys lip or on his cheek. Very attractive. I'm soo weiird.


And the other day I got a cut on my lower lip. I have nooo idea how the freak it got there. But i loved it :O. I really liked the way it looked. I'd have kept it there if i could. I also like these three little freckles that i have on my left upper arm....they're aligned in a straight line. Everytime i see it, it reminds me of Orion's Belt (sp?)

Same goes for little scars. Especially around the cheek/eye area. hmm....
Ok enough of my strangeness!


I reeeallly loooove DDR.... I have been playing more recently.

.:bai:.

p.s. Lurve is a wonderful word.

p.p.s. HAPPY BIRHTDAY RAF :D Hearts and Hugs sir

Pronto!

I want school to finish...

Pronto!

Brandon......you need to sign on....


Pronto!


anxiety kicking in...


Marissa....you need to come home...



Pronto!



I need to finish my math..



Pronto!


p.s. is james your middle name?


<3 bai

Lori Anne

haha so I was on the Apple website because I have an iPod that hold 500 songs and I have over 1600 songs. Its VERY hard to pick and choose what will end up on my iPod. So I had questions about the IPod touch. I saw that there was a live chat you could have with an Apple Expert. I clicked it and asked her my questions. I thought maybe it would be a robot because how on earth would they find enough people to just sit at a computer and chat live with customers? Soooo here was our convo. Funny. haha

You are chatting with Lori Anne, an Apple Expert
Lori Anne: Hi, my name is Lori Anne. Welcome to Apple!
Me: hi
Lori Anne: Good afternoon.
Me:For the iPod touch
Me:do you have to get the internet?
Lori Anne: It is a function of the iPod. It can only be accessed in a wireless internet area.
Me:Is there like a monthly fee for it?
Lori Anne: No monthly fee, you will use wi-fi, or hot spots for the access.
Me:ohh kay got it
Me:and is there a reason that it cost more for the same amount of memory than the classic? hah
Lori Anne: They are different models with different functions.
Me:hm makes sense
Me:alright thanks!
Lori Anne: You're welcome.
Lori Anne: Would you like to make a purchase today?
Me:haha not yet. I need my mom to make the purchase. I just wanted to get some things cleared up
Lori Anne: I understand.
Lori Anne: May I help with any other product or order questions before you proceed?
Me:No thank you
Lori Anne: You're welcome.
Lori Anne: Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business.
Me:ditto lol ... you're very human-like...
Me:unless you are a human?
Lori Anne: Of course I am a human...
Me:hah Ok. Sorry about that
Lori Anne: Do you know a computer with the name Lori Anne?
Me:I know many robots that have several strange names
Lori Anne: That's ok. Usually people just ask me to misspell words.
Me:haha
Me:That must be fun.
Lori Anne: Sometmies!
Lori Anne: :)
Me:xD
Me:got it
Me:I'd like to work for apple when i get out of school
Lori Anne: It is nice.
Me:oh wait! i have another question!
Me:Do you have the leopard?
Lori Anne: Yes we sell Leopard.
No, I mean personally.
Me:Like you
Lori Anne: Of course!!
Lori Anne: The MacBook Pro has a larger screen, a dedicated graphics card, more expansion options, a backlit keyboard, and a few other features that make it ideal for more advanced users.
Lori Anne: Sorry. See i am human, that was not meant for you.
Me:lol
Me:But is it better than the normal one that comes on Macs?
Me:I don't see how more than one desktop would be useful
Lori Anne: If you are doing video editing it becomes very useful.
Me:hm...
Lori Anne: May I help with any other product or order questions before you proceed?
Me:No. I most unfortunately have to go to my math class
Me:bleh
Me:thanks for your help though
Lori Anne: You're welcome.
Lori Anne: Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business.
Me:bai




p.s. Kiss the Girl is stuck in my head. But for good reasons. :D It helps me be not so anxious until then.

.:bai:.

Bad bad

I haven't gone running this week...bad mag baddd... it makes me feel like a bummm....


>.>


i need to call Vons. And I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat. I want to sleep on my mom's waterbed foreverrr....



:O I love you...yes you. I'm talking to you.


.:bai:.

Love Secretaries that Can't Accomplish

Ok so....I was supposed to go to the doctor's today to have a checkup for cervical cancer since I'm 18 now. Ugh. I was scared out of my brains....


I do NOT want a stranger looking or shoving anything up my chonch....THE END. So NO i did NOT want to go...ugh.



BUUUT


The stupid secretary that scheduled the appointment did it wrong. woooo! So no appt. until MAY!! :D

This secretary that was supposed to do her job....FAILED. But i thank her. Because now I can finish my craploads of hw. And My chonch is safe for the time being.
Gratsi Secretaries that cannot accomplish! Myself and my bod thank you dearly.

I'm sorry if this was too much info. But deal with it. I'm a girl.

DREAM: Weird.....I had a dream that this little kid discovered that his dad was the king of a swamp full of cannibal like creatures. Poor kid was eating human beings and didn't know it until he was like 11.

WTF do my dreams mean? -_-'

Whats wrong with me? haha. I wish I knew why I think the things I do. Or why I dream the dreams I dream.

.:ciao:.

Blaah

hm...


I sat next to this lady the other day. At a talk. She smelled like cheese quesadillas.



ciao

STRESS

I'm so stressed....I wanna throw something or just scream for hours or curl up in a ball forever. Hopefully most of the reasons I'm stressed is normal. Normal for a teenage girl hopefully. bleh

1. Worried that my moose didn't get his letter.
2. That I won't pass my math class
3. That my sister is doing wreckless things
4. That I will hurt the feelings of this guy who likes me and won get a hint
5. That i have to clean for sunday
6. That I'm not pretty enough for anyone (most girls think like this i think?)
7. I need to find a job quick
8. Try not to be mean to this other guy that likes me without hurting HIS feelings....ugh
9. That i don have a major
10. That i won be able to transer in two years maybe
11. That i have to go to the doctor to check for cervical cancer regularly since I'm 18 now. ahhhhh i'm scared.


I think thats it....but right now it makes my brain wanna explode. I wanna eat a pillow or something to make it go away. wrgh

To do...

1. homework for english (write intro, and buy book)
2. clean the room
3. look for another class
4. cal kb
5. clear bank account

Words

I'm going to do this entry in jibberish. It may convey how i feel better than if i were to use words.


blagrh poopie frucker mecker stipoopdd geep iffffoooooooooomeeees sssssstpooooooood gaaaaaahjdkfjjjjieufjkldskja;klji donshfeeufh kslleeeeeej jl;aaaaaaaals jfjiiiiiiieuncbbbbbbbbboahjjjjjjjjjks;;;;;;;;;opwoooooooooopshufhbvvvvvvvvvvejjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkk;ssssssssssjhf

Bored

Sigh

I don't think i have ever been so bored. :P

ok well I am now asst/co leader for catie's Girl Scout troop. I think maybe i am the youngest asst. troop leader in america haha

But i like hanging out with rosie and catie anyway. I think all we do is laugh. And when we are too tired to laugh we talk. XD

soooo during The Great Escape meeting (the great escape is this huge camping thing that happens every 2 years with like 300 girlscouts (older girlscouts) around november. We are apart of the group who is planning it) Catie rosie and I were passing notes.... You might not understand some of it but we were trying sooo hard not to laugh our brains out. I had to pretend to wash me hands because it got crazy..... I forced them and myself to stop because we were going to attract attention. haha well here you go. We passed two at once...

English

I have absolutely NOTHING against mexican people.

One because I am mexican. Physically anyway. Two, because it is a very nice language.




BUT


I would like to go to a school where I walk by and hear people speaking in english instead of spanish. I feel a sense of hostility sometimes. Everyone pretty much keeps to themselves and ironically enough I have only made friends in my spanish class. Is it because none of us really know how to speak in spanish? I'm not sure. This brings up several questions. This is getting weird now. XP

I am TOO white. haha.....but then i look in the mirror and there I am. brown. like sees candy or something. erg

p.s. I have no idea why I despise the idea of turning 18... I seriously panic sometimes. What the hay?

bye

Tired

I'm very tired but I feel like saying this first. On some reality show I remember one of the contests being this: You can't fall asleep. More specifically have your eyes closed for more than 30 seconds. The first team that has someone fall asleep loses. It was pretty intense. Especially at night because there wasn't much to do.

I don't know how they did it because right now I am VERY tired....