Stealing Straws

I had a pretty good weekend...

I didn't think I would because marissa was still camping until saturday and i thought i was gonna by all by myself again T_T

But it was aweessooomee...
Tom freeking cracks me up. I can't breathe sometimes because he makes me laugh so hard. I've been hanging out with him after work everyday. These kids that were playing basketball outside his house thought i was his gf T_T I hate it when that happens but oh well. On friday me and tom went to hang out with annalee. We went to a japanese marketplace called Mitsua (sp?) haha We ate and talked en stuff and then we went to get drinks after. I got a mango tea and it was AMAZING. Except the boe-bahs(sp?) were grossss.... Since there were boe-bahs in the drinks, the straws were HUGE .... they were soooo cooool Tom stole some for me before we left x]

All week work Daniel has been texting me haha. He's crazy, but funny. The other Daniel texts me too but he doesn't live here so we can't really hang out. Anyways, I didn't have anything to do on saturday and i slept until like 11 and Daniel from work, called me and wanted me to come over. Soooo I took a shower and went over to his house. We hung around his room and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Fatory. That was fun.

AND THEN...zomgg

We went over to his friends house because there were no adults there and his friend had a nice house en stuff..... I ended up sitting at the end of the couch. Daniel got kinda tired and put a pillow on my lap and rested his head there. I played with his hair while we watched a movie. It was ridiculously entertaining... Not the movie though. The movied was horrrible. haha After awhile of that marissa called and said she was home. YES!!

So i went to hang out with her even though i had to leave Daneil's hair. sadface. But i missed marissa like crazy. We talked non-stop about like eeverrythinggg.... hearts to you missa.
Today I went to church and hung out with veronica and then Tom and I came back to my house to watch these videos my mom wanted him to watch. We ended up falling asleep on the couch lol But it was still entertaining. We had pizza en stuff.

Not a bad weekend...

Melanie and Jared

This is the excerpt of the book I was reading that made me forget where i was once I was done reading it. Their love is AMAZING...something I hope to have someday.

And stephenie meyer is a Genius.......

(Coming Soon)

Daniel and Family

I'm in tom's room hanging out.
No more crying i decided. My eyes are still not back to normal yet....bleh.
After two long weeks of this misery i think I'm finally Ok though...

I've gone through something like this three times. It never fully heals....ever. But I can eventually move on. I can move on THIS time for several reasons.

1. My family loves me. I may not recieve the type of love that I want from them because I can only get that kinda from a guy, but at least its love. Until I find the kind I want, my family is there for me.

I've been hanging out with my cousins a lot. Especially Tom. He'd be my closest guy friend and prolly as close to a guy as I'll get for awhile. He really makes me laugh and i just love him.... I get him in trouble with my grama and its HILARIOUS. funny stuff.

2. Green. Green makes me happy...i dunno why. I went through photobucket and found some a LOT of icons and put them on my myspace.

3. Work. Work has been helping me think of other things. And when i don't have anything to do there, I read and Stephenie Meyer is an AMAZING writer. I forgot I was at Work. The romances that she writes about are incredible....its like she took every girls dream and wrote it down. If only guys like that really DID exist. v.v I'm making a separate entry for that.

Co-workers. I was sitting bymyself but two guys decided to come and sit with me at lunch now. Daniel is the more talkative one. They are really nice... and I don't have to sit alone anymore. We hang out during breaks too. Daniel was asking me a LOT of questions.... a lot.... He found out that i don't have a lot of friends haha...he said he was gonna take me places and introduce me to people. that should be fun hopefully.

4. Blogtv. I've been broadcasting a lot and co-host with Daniel(different than work daniel) or Marissa. Its like T.V but on the internet and people can come and watch. Since I have a webcam, its easy to broadcast and people actually come and watch me and talk to me in a chat right next to my broadcasting window. They type to me and I just talk back out loud. Some of them are really weird, and if they're tooooo weird then I have the power to kick them out of the chat or my channel or whatever. The nice normal ones re pretty coool. And very nice. I met daniel on there. He's funneh. He has a cam too and wanted to co-host one day. I decided why not, and now he co-host with me all the time if I'm not co-hosting with marissa.

I'm watching so you think you can dance.... love this show.

I'll be ok.

.:bai:.

I Should

I should erase everything we talked about in the pink and green box we used to have. Re-reading it over and over again doesn't help.

But everytime I re-read it, i think, I'll just keep it a little longer...

Crying doesn't help either. And it makes my eyes hideously puffy for over 24 hours... Jeff kept thinking I was really tired at work when I'm not.

I need to suck it up and get over it.

GET OVER IT MAG now!

Daniel is going to call me on thursday. That will help. I think I might visit Raf. And I've been hanging out with tom and ropo and veronica alot. It doesn't make everything go away because i remember again when i'm alone but they are good distractions and i like hanging out with them.

I miss marissa.
I miss Catie.

this would be my heart < X 3

wow I'm emoo now x]

.:bai:.

Ironic

How ironic that some of the last words were

Turn your frown uspide down. At least I'm not leaving forever.

Meehh

bella aches emotionally and physically without him. She cries over him and goes numb.

Somewhere in this crazy life,
We can become confused and lost.
Somewhere in the world of chance,
We pay more than things should cost.
Somewhere in this magical ride,
We may stumble and fall to the ground.
Somewhere in the Dark of night,
We can lose what we have found.
Somewhere in this crazy world,
We do everything the same.
Somewhere in our normal lives,
Some of us will become insane.
Somewhere at a point in time,
We may lose our mind's true sight.
Somewhere with the shining sun above,
Would have become as dark as night.
Somewhere from there to here,
We can start to lose our grip.
Somewhere we may lose all hope,
And feel we are about to slip.
Somewhere things are different,
Better than what we think.
But things can change so easily,
As quick as just one blink.

Pie Cones

Pie crust needs filling. It has cried at its departure. Thats just how it works.



here's a part of a convo i had with eddie. pretty freekin hilarious. It helps to read about something happy.

chemistrybeaker: good!
magdalena Rymer: LOL
magdalena Rymer: once me and catie were acting really drunk
magdalena Rymer: and we remembered that you always said that
magdalena Rymer: and for like an hour thats all we said
chemistrybeaker: LOL
magdalena Rymer: ahaha
chemistrybeaker: i can picture that
magdalena Rymer: and then
magdalena Rymer: when we had to leave...
magdalena Rymer: dominic made me sit in the very back of the van
magdalena Rymer: and i said
magdalena Rymer: "Black people...BACK OF THE BUS!"
1:20 AM
chemistrybeaker: hahaha
magdalena Rymer: it took you that long to typ ethat?
magdalena Rymer: for real?
magdalena Rymer: xD
chemistrybeaker: i missed the enter button
magdalena Rymer: k
chemistrybeaker: i kept pushing shift
magdalena Rymer: >.>
magdalena Rymer: <.<
chemistrybeaker: I . I
magdalena Rymer: x]
chemistrybeaker: that's your eyes looking forward
magdalena Rymer: whaaat?
magdalena Rymer: ahahahh
magdalena Rymer: OHHH
magdalena Rymer: LMFFAO
chemistrybeaker: wuha
magdalena Rymer: omg
magdalena Rymer: i can't breathe
magdalena Rymer: haha ok...
magdalena Rymer: i think i'm good
magdalena Rymer: how do you know that they aren't cones?
magdalena Rymer: HMMMM?
chemistrybeaker: I have this feeling
chemistrybeaker: deep in my heart
magdalena Rymer: omg
chemistrybeaker: that they aren't cones
magdalena Rymer: ahaha
magdalena Rymer: you
magdalena Rymer: def
magdalena Rymer: need sleep
chemistrybeaker: i do!
chemistrybeaker: work starts at ocho tomorrow
magdalena Rymer: omgawsh
magdalena Rymer: jeebus
chemistrybeaker: i know
chemistrybeaker: i should seriously get going now!
magdalena Rymer: mhmm
magdalena Rymer: imma finish this moovie
chemistrybeaker: it was awesome talking to you
magdalena Rymer: likewise mah home skilet
chemistrybeaker: good night and peace afuera
magdalena Rymer: ciao

Wish

Why not a time when things weren't going so horribly. ugggghhhh

i hate being a girl. I hate it all. all of it. bleh

I wish i got to hang out with so and so more often....

I wish that i didn't have a stupid mini-van so that i could have visited fraser in april when he was close and wanted me to.

I wish I wasn't in arizona anymore. Its too hot. And i want to hang out with marissa.

I wish i had a million dollars.

I wish i had clearer skin.

I wish Catie didn't go out with that guy.

I wish I hadn't stayed out in the sun too long.

I wish that my parents weren't upset with me.

I wish that Fredrick would leave me alone....I don't like him.

I wish that fredricks mom was nicer.

I wish too many things.

I wish i had a mango.

13

So far things aren't usually as they seem. Just when you get the hang of things it all disappears into something else.

I'd have like to thought it was going to be ok but i dunno if they will be. It was the first time i let myself go. The very first time I didn't care how much i put myself out there into the range of being able to be hurt. That was a bad idea. This next part will take forever. Longer than forever i think because its happened before but never so strongly.

Thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks for letting me know. Thanks for all of the false hopes that I got in return. Thanks for the next year or so to come. Thanks for taking that vulnerability that i don't think will be available to anyone ever again. Thanks be honest and coming to me. Thanks.


whatever meh.

Missa to the Rescue

baha missa <3



mangos: Dead yet?
9:41:47 AM mangos: x]
9:41:56 AM youareriddikulus: not there yet
9:41:59 AM youareriddikulus: P:
9:42:02 AM mangos: bahaa
9:42:06 AM youareriddikulus: raf hasn't come to pick me up
9:42:13 AM mangos: ohh
9:43:00 AM mangos: bah i'm twitching like crazy
9:43:02 AM mangos: after running
9:43:06 AM mangos: how do i stop that?!
9:43:42 AM youareriddikulus: hahah
9:43:45 AM youareriddikulus: keep running?
9:43:52 AM youareriddikulus: you mean like your legs right?
9:43:57 AM mangos: and my arms
9:43:59 AM mangos: haah
9:44:45 AM youareriddikulus: intereseting
9:46:09 AM mangos: imma showa
9:46:10 AM mangos: burb
9:57:46 AM mangos: mookays
10:06:59 AM youareriddikulus: whoa whoa wwhoa
10:07:03 AM mangos: ?
10:07:10 AM mangos: was my internet being stoop
10:07:11 AM youareriddikulus: you okay?
10:07:14 AM youareriddikulus: hahahhahahahahha
10:07:15 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:07:16 AM mangos: LOL
10:07:19 AM mangos: I"M FINE
10:07:21 AM mangos: xD
10:07:22 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHHA
10:07:28 AM mangos: why do you ask?
10:07:35 AM youareriddikulus: i don't know
10:07:37 AM youareriddikulus: i though maybe
10:07:42 AM mangos: thought*
10:07:44 AM youareriddikulus: someone was like attacking you
10:07:47 AM mangos: D:
10:07:48 AM youareriddikulus: signing you on and off
10:07:52 AM mangos: lmfao
10:08:00 AM mangos: -Struggle as I sign off-
10:08:08 AM mangos: -sign on punch punch-
10:08:10 AM mangos: -dead-
10:12:46 AM mangos: lmfao
10:12:54 AM mangos: question marissa O
10:12:56 AM youareriddikulus: hahaha
10:13:00 AM youareriddikulus: hmmmmmmmmmmmm??????????????
10:13:02 AM youareriddikulus: answer
10:13:05 AM youareriddikulus: ????|
10:13:18 AM mangos: Whart would you have done if i had not answered to the "are you okay?"
10:13:22 AM mangos: Theres not much you could do
10:13:26 AM mangos: WHAT*
10:13:37 AM youareriddikulus: haha whart
10:13:47 AM youareriddikulus: whart i would have done
10:14:14 AM mangos: v.v
10:14:57 AM youareriddikulus: would have been to steal rafs car (even though i can't drive it and would subsequently led to both of our deaths) and driven to your house and bash open your door to kill your attacker
10:15:10 AM mangos: BASH
10:15:12 AM mangos: hahahahaaa
10:15:15 AM mangos: ahahaha
10:15:24 AM mangos: subsquently
10:15:26 AM mangos: hahaha
10:15:41 AM youareriddikulus: well i probably would have called your cell phone first though
10:15:42 AM youareriddikulus: >.>
10:15:47 AM mangos: hahahaah
10:15:51 AM youareriddikulus: you know before taking it to the next level
10:16:15 AM mangos: next level
10:16:25 AM mangos: My attacker had it coming
10:16:30 AM mangos: son of a bish
10:19:01 AM mangos: omg
10:19:07 AM mangos: everytime i look at this wondow
10:19:10 AM mangos: i start alughign
10:19:17 AM youareriddikulus: hahah wondow
10:19:19 AM mangos: and today i'm being tested for dysliexia
10:19:22 AM youareriddikulus: i'm laughing too
10:19:26 AM mangos: x]
10:19:31 AM youareriddikulus: wait really?
10:19:32 AM youareriddikulus: no
10:19:35 AM mangos: haha
10:19:37 AM mangos: not really
10:19:41 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:19:47 AM youareriddikulus: well why do you laugh at the window
10:19:57 AM mangos: because o f the words inside of it
10:20:02 AM mangos: now i'm gonga to meditate
10:20:06 AM mangos: going*
10:20:10 AM youareriddikulus: whattttttt
10:20:12 AM youareriddikulus: wow i
10:20:13 AM youareriddikulus: am
10:20:16 AM mangos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAOooooooooooooOOOOoooooooommmm
10:20:17 AM mangos: DONE
10:20:18 AM youareriddikulus: cofused
10:20:21 AM mangos: good
10:20:24 AM mangos: stay that way
10:21:16 AM youareriddikulus: so raf got here
10:21:25 AM youareriddikulus: but he doesn't want to take me to the office
10:21:31 AM mangos: xD
10:21:40 AM mangos: I could take you if you want
10:21:46 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHAAHHA
10:21:47 AM mangos: pencil you into my busy shedule
10:21:50 AM youareriddikulus: wow i do not want
10:21:52 AM youareriddikulus: hahahah
10:21:58 AM mangos: haha
10:22:29 AM youareriddikulus: raf doesn't want to stay and he knows if he drives me he will have to stay
10:22:40 AM mangos: ahaha
10:22:44 AM mangos: mookays
10:22:56 AM mangos: the offer stands as tall as the satute of liverty
10:23:02 AM mangos: staue* ?
10:23:06 AM mangos: Statue*
10:23:17 AM mangos: liberyt
10:23:19 AM mangos: LIBERTY
10:23:34 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHAHHAHAHs djghirtaurtie vhagdfzv
10:23:35 AM youareriddikulus: fagiu dsfudsasaff
10:23:40 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHA
10:23:43 AM youareriddikulus: omgizzle
10:23:45 AM mangos: I don speak dutch missa
10:23:47 AM mangos: >.>
10:24:14 AM youareriddikulus: i think my typo habit is rubbing off on you
10:24:26 AM mangos: maybe on the day i was born
10:24:29 AM mangos: you were in TJ
10:24:33 AM mangos: touched my hand as a babeh
10:24:45 AM youareriddikulus: also the statue of liverty isn't that tall
10:24:46 AM youareriddikulus: HAHA
10:24:50 AM mangos: SAY WHAT
10:24:53 AM youareriddikulus: yeah okas
10:24:55 AM mangos: YES IT IS
10:25:04 AM youareriddikulus: not as tall as like
10:25:10 AM youareriddikulus: something else...
10:25:14 AM mangos: no marissa
10:25:22 AM mangos: it doesn't scrape the edge of the oZone layer
10:25:28 AM mangos: but that doesn't mean its not tall
10:25:30 AM mangos: x]
10:25:40 AM youareriddikulus: well you know
10:25:42 AM mangos: WOAH
10:25:47 AM mangos: POOH ALRET
10:25:48 AM mangos: ALERT*
10:25:51 AM mangos: mag is being a pooh
10:25:52 AM youareriddikulus: it's not as tall as say
10:25:57 AM youareriddikulus: ME
10:26:02 AM mangos: O:
10:26:10 AM mangos: we're talking about the one in NY
10:26:27 AM mangos: I saw national treasure 2 too >.>
10:26:57 AM youareriddikulus: and i am talking about
10:26:59 AM youareriddikulus: ME
10:27:07 AM mangos: humm
10:27:11 AM mangos: now I'M lost
10:27:16 AM mangos: oh wellskie
10:27:18 AM youareriddikulus: hahha jk
10:27:24 AM youareriddikulus: i guess i'm not that tall
10:27:27 AM youareriddikulus: BUT
10:27:33 AM youareriddikulus: there is something taller
10:27:38 AM youareriddikulus: it's called mt. everest
10:27:47 AM mangos: there's something taller
10:27:49 AM mangos: air
10:27:50 AM mangos: ?
10:28:13 AM youareriddikulus: the cn tower is pretty tall
10:28:27 AM mangos: hummsie hum hum
10:28:43 AM youareriddikulus: and the sears tower
10:28:48 AM mangos: v.v
10:28:52 AM mangos: the offer stands
10:28:55 AM mangos: is my point
10:29:01 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:29:03 AM mangos: baha
10:29:05 AM youareriddikulus: thanks

bah

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ARGH

WHY...

Its almost two thirty in the morning.

I can't sleep.

I have to get up at 7 to take dominic to school.

Summer courses were FULL.

I feel sickkkk.....like i'm going to throw up.


Bleh.

I've been feeling sick for some reason.

Make it stop.

bleh.

Ily God.

kuhljghkfgd

bleeeehh