Suffering

Sometimes people forget that God does NOT like suffering, but he allows it. It's not like he just watches it happen either because he suffers when we do. He loves us so much that he couldn't help but put a little of himself into our souls. He made us in his image. He feels what we feel. Its hard to believe because sometimes we get really lonley and its harder to believe during certain times too but he's there. No one understands us better than he does.

To Do

List of things to do. A little stressful. I haven't felt like this since OLP.

1. double check classes and make a schedule for wednesday's registration
2. fill out forms for outdoor skills camp
3. clean off my desk (there are a lot of things that are important on there)
4. mail thank you cards
5. Call steph/danielle so they don't think I'm ignoring them (I have danielle's book)
6. Look for iPod :(
7. Work on my girl scout Gold award (fill out all the crazy forms and double check them.)
8. Not Freak out because marissa is leaving in a month.
9. Work on Gold Award
10. Not freak out about outdoor skills because it will be my first time acting as the major adult for a unit
11. Not freak out that it has been really hard to hang out with caitlin
12. Work on my Girl Scout Gold award so that I don't have a major regret later on
13. Look for a job and get one (call henry's)
14. Not freak out tat everything is slowly changing.
15. Finish my gold award and get it approved by the commitee in time.


This entry realtes a lot to the last on.

Major Goal: Do Not Explode With Craziness

Panic

Dear steph,
I had a horibble dream and the punch line of that dream was you dying. It was scary. I went histerical because I coudn't believe that you had died. I was devastated.....but then I found out that you were still alive. I don't think I have ever felt such a feeling of relief in my life ever. But I was so happy. I love you so much steph! I am going to call you soon!
love, mag


Today I had this wierd panicky feeling. It felt like when the summer was over, I would be forgotten by everyone I once knew before then and I would be completely alone. I felt like I would soon be taken away from everything I knew and especially from the people I knew; like I would soon be thrown into the world starting out at the bottom of the food chain. And I would have no way of getting near the top. It was really acary and slightly depressing. I did not like it one bit. Hopefully this is a temporary feeling. I can feel that comfort zone disappearing. No more OLP. No more a lot of things. What am I going to do with myself? I can be extremely pathetic sometimes...

Dear dear...

Dear Marissa,
You are so funny. Do you remember those big yellow sheets of paper that mrs. russell wrote our names on and then passed around for everyone to sign? Well I found mine and read it. Yours was pretty great:
Merry Christmas!
Magdalena! it might not be Christmas now but one time when you read it it will be christmas! Well your my best friend and your nice, fun, pretty, smart, cool, and you are very funny!
~your bestest buddy pal
~marissa elizabeth oceguera

haha thank you very much. What are the odds that I would find the piece of paper ON christmas? hmm? hilarious. AND You liked using tildas back then I suppose. haha this one was from alejandra fregoso....:

Hey maggie,
You are a super cool friend. Vote 4 me. hope you did. I have fun talking to you. keep keeping track of lianna's questions cause i stopped counting after 8,569,721,358,772 questions this week. I think hehehe. Well I had fun by you keep in touch.
-Alejandra fregoso.

sigh... I didn't really like elementary school but there were those good time's. Cheers marissa....

~magdalena elizabeth last name

Dear Caitlin,
sigh. For the millionth time: I miss seeing you and a lot of other people everyday. Dominic is still in love with that bear you gave him.... haha he named it and evrything. Remember when you used to say holy moses? I also found a lot of notes that you wrote me. It made me sad and happy at the same time. here are some of my favorites:(First in English and then some of your spanish ones. AND Everything is EXATLY how you wrote it.)

(sticker of a hamster) Mr. Chub...he is a little chubby hamster!
'Have an awesome (totally radical) weekend.'

'p.s. Remind me to tell you that pirate joke!!!'

'When I saw you today...I felt as though I hadn't seen you in a LONG time! I almost hugged you... I KNOW CRAZY!!!'

'Oh must have been a lie (as my grandma used to say.'

'Pause. Looking at clock but have to get glasses out first.'

'Miss M! Mr. Lapiz has been taken and you must pay $1,000,00!!! By noon tomorrow. Good luck! -Kidnapper! '

*PAUSE* Cat, there are a lot more but I must get onto the spanish ones because they are just great...

'Well i do not have a lot to say as I am a BORING persona! '

'!So Sad! !Muy Triste! '

'Is that the right word o palabra?'

' I haven't written you a nota en forever! '

'p.s. you shal hear no 'meow'. '

' I forgot to show you my little amigo! '

'I will be super rojo.'

' I just had mi espanol examen.'
You are just so funny caitlin. I still need your cell phone number.
~mag

Dear Sarge,
How are things? I heard that you have a little more free time than usual. I hope that's relaxing in a way. I saw that fruit too...were they squash? I really have no idea but it was a nice picture for some reason. Also discussions on french toast toast and milk shakes sounds like fun.
Before I would not have wished you a happy fourth of july because I thought you were candian. Happy Fourth of july! I am still confused on some aspects of yourself but maybe they will unravel in time.
It is also getting extremely hot here...I once again wish it rained more often.
~magdalena

Dear Gold Award,
Why must you be so difficult? You make me feel guilty..... I think maybe I am posting this because I don't want to finish you. sigh...procrastination.

Dear everyone,
...............................................just keep going........ hopefully time will cure whatever is bothering you and I.