Panic

Dear steph,
I had a horibble dream and the punch line of that dream was you dying. It was scary. I went histerical because I coudn't believe that you had died. I was devastated.....but then I found out that you were still alive. I don't think I have ever felt such a feeling of relief in my life ever. But I was so happy. I love you so much steph! I am going to call you soon!
love, mag


Today I had this wierd panicky feeling. It felt like when the summer was over, I would be forgotten by everyone I once knew before then and I would be completely alone. I felt like I would soon be taken away from everything I knew and especially from the people I knew; like I would soon be thrown into the world starting out at the bottom of the food chain. And I would have no way of getting near the top. It was really acary and slightly depressing. I did not like it one bit. Hopefully this is a temporary feeling. I can feel that comfort zone disappearing. No more OLP. No more a lot of things. What am I going to do with myself? I can be extremely pathetic sometimes...