Saturday, February 27, 2010
Miss
I miss brandon. A lot. It always gets worse the longer I don't get to see him. I see and hear about bad boyfriends constantly. And no Brandon is not perfect but he is perfect for me. He is perfect for the kind of love that I had been searching for, for years. I never thought any guy would ever love me as much as he does. I never thought that any guy would say words that he has said to me. He makes me happy. Ridiculously happy. I wish I could do every day things with him that normal couples do like grocery shopping in the frozen food aisle or coming over to have dinner or do homework. I'm always jealous of couples who can do that much together. I never get enough time with him and if i had the budget, i would go to him as often as I could. All I can do now is be thankful for him but I do miss him so much. I miss his kiss and his smile. I miss his laugh and obliviousness. I miss just watching him be him. I miss his arms and the warmth of his skin. I miss his touch and the protruding love that comes from every move he makes towards me. I miss him
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Dear Mom
Dear mom,
Let me start by telling you that I love you. I love you and this family more than anything. I often times do not understand why you call me selfish when I do a lot for this family that goes unnoticed. I'm so sorry that the dishes did not get done on time. I should have done them myself when dominic decided to go to bed. It hurts so much when you call me selfish and you yell and scream at me. You make me feel like I do nothing right. I'm sorry that you had a bad day yesterday and that you had worked so long and that there were dishes in the sink when you got home. Yes I agree that I did not do my duty in making sure that they got done whether it was my turn or not. But no I do not think that it was okay that you singled me out and targeted me with all of the stress and anger that had built up in you from your long day.
It did not seem like you were ready to listen so after a few attempts I gave up. Hear me out and let me tell you how my day went.
I woke up around 6:30 and got ready for school. Dominic and I left a little over 7. I dropped him off and then drove up to my school. I ran for about an hour and then went to class. I saw your text and I felt bad that I had not read it sooner. I even apologized in my responding text. After class I drove home and had a piece of fruit for lunch, changed and went to work. They have been giving me more work because they are getting ready to change systems in a few months. After work I went to pick up catie and then ran an errand. After that we went home and i didn't have time to eat dinner. I changed and entered some cookie stuff that I needed to do and prepared for the activity that I had to do with the you ger girls that meeting. We were home for less than 40 minutes before we had to leave again. We went to pick up Tess and then jasmine. When we got there we started the meeting. We have recently added two more girls and it is extremely hard to get everyone to be quiet and give Grama their attention but I do the best I can. We then separated and I had to lead the younger girls in their patch books. They were not listening to me and I could barely keep their attention. They were noisy and started running around so after about 20 minutes I gave up. I got more cookie money and I had to coordinate with the new girls and their cookie accounts. I was already drained mentally at that time. Only catie would help me clean up and I tried my best to leave on time because we had to pick up dominic and drop off the girls before it got too late. We left and picked up dominic ans then I took jasmine and Tess home and then we got home a little after 9. I was tired and had not eaten anything since lunch but in order to make dinner I had to clean up some of the kitchen so I did. Then dad was complaining that someone hadto make you dinner and no one else would do it so I made you some extra meat from the spaghetti I was making. I also made some for dominic and catie because they were hungry. Dinner was finally done so I ate and let dominic eat before he finished the dishes. I had to enter the cookie stuff while I was eating into my computer. Dominic was still eating and I was exhausted and asked catie to make sure that dominic finshed the dishes and she said yes so I went outside to get ready for bed. I was out in my room for less than 10 minutes before dad bursted in yelling at me. I didn't understand what was going on so I went inside with him. Yes I was angry at dominic for not finishing and you were yelling at me from the second I walked in. I was already so tired from everything that I had done during the day but I started putting things away and helping you clean. I made one comment about dominic and you started screaming at me. You cussed at me. You hurt me. Yes I should have made sure they got done but all I did yesterday was give give give to everyone else. I helped Grama an went to school and work and drove people where they needed to be and you were yelling for me to get out because I was being selfish. I was so hurt. When you came out the second time you still did not want to listen and did not see that you hurt me. I did everything I could for everyone else yesterday and I did not deserved to be treated that way. I even made you dinner when no one else wanted to and I felt like you didnt even care. So yes the dishes was my fault, but you did not need to go as far as you did with the way you treated me. I love you and I try to do what I can.
-Magdalena.
Let me start by telling you that I love you. I love you and this family more than anything. I often times do not understand why you call me selfish when I do a lot for this family that goes unnoticed. I'm so sorry that the dishes did not get done on time. I should have done them myself when dominic decided to go to bed. It hurts so much when you call me selfish and you yell and scream at me. You make me feel like I do nothing right. I'm sorry that you had a bad day yesterday and that you had worked so long and that there were dishes in the sink when you got home. Yes I agree that I did not do my duty in making sure that they got done whether it was my turn or not. But no I do not think that it was okay that you singled me out and targeted me with all of the stress and anger that had built up in you from your long day.
It did not seem like you were ready to listen so after a few attempts I gave up. Hear me out and let me tell you how my day went.
I woke up around 6:30 and got ready for school. Dominic and I left a little over 7. I dropped him off and then drove up to my school. I ran for about an hour and then went to class. I saw your text and I felt bad that I had not read it sooner. I even apologized in my responding text. After class I drove home and had a piece of fruit for lunch, changed and went to work. They have been giving me more work because they are getting ready to change systems in a few months. After work I went to pick up catie and then ran an errand. After that we went home and i didn't have time to eat dinner. I changed and entered some cookie stuff that I needed to do and prepared for the activity that I had to do with the you ger girls that meeting. We were home for less than 40 minutes before we had to leave again. We went to pick up Tess and then jasmine. When we got there we started the meeting. We have recently added two more girls and it is extremely hard to get everyone to be quiet and give Grama their attention but I do the best I can. We then separated and I had to lead the younger girls in their patch books. They were not listening to me and I could barely keep their attention. They were noisy and started running around so after about 20 minutes I gave up. I got more cookie money and I had to coordinate with the new girls and their cookie accounts. I was already drained mentally at that time. Only catie would help me clean up and I tried my best to leave on time because we had to pick up dominic and drop off the girls before it got too late. We left and picked up dominic ans then I took jasmine and Tess home and then we got home a little after 9. I was tired and had not eaten anything since lunch but in order to make dinner I had to clean up some of the kitchen so I did. Then dad was complaining that someone hadto make you dinner and no one else would do it so I made you some extra meat from the spaghetti I was making. I also made some for dominic and catie because they were hungry. Dinner was finally done so I ate and let dominic eat before he finished the dishes. I had to enter the cookie stuff while I was eating into my computer. Dominic was still eating and I was exhausted and asked catie to make sure that dominic finshed the dishes and she said yes so I went outside to get ready for bed. I was out in my room for less than 10 minutes before dad bursted in yelling at me. I didn't understand what was going on so I went inside with him. Yes I was angry at dominic for not finishing and you were yelling at me from the second I walked in. I was already so tired from everything that I had done during the day but I started putting things away and helping you clean. I made one comment about dominic and you started screaming at me. You cussed at me. You hurt me. Yes I should have made sure they got done but all I did yesterday was give give give to everyone else. I helped Grama an went to school and work and drove people where they needed to be and you were yelling for me to get out because I was being selfish. I was so hurt. When you came out the second time you still did not want to listen and did not see that you hurt me. I did everything I could for everyone else yesterday and I did not deserved to be treated that way. I even made you dinner when no one else wanted to and I felt like you didnt even care. So yes the dishes was my fault, but you did not need to go as far as you did with the way you treated me. I love you and I try to do what I can.
-Magdalena.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Bored in math
So I downloaded the blogger app. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I've really wanted to post more blogs but my life has gotten 10 times crazier which is something I did not forsee. I need to try harder though. I get stressed out and less friendly when that happens and the people around me don't deserve to be treated badly by me at any extent because of my stress. I have two maybe three main causes of stress. Everything else branches out or are smaller things that I stress out about. Main cause hands down is cookies. 'Preposterous!,' you say. 'Inconceivable!'. Well no my friend. It's true. 8 different varieties of cookies and 9 girls selling them. I keep track of the money and the amount of cookies each girl has sold. Sounds easy eh? Not so easy. Before I started I thought it would be a breeze to be completely honest. I was not aware that the breeze was in fact a hurricane. I pray to God that all of the money and amount of cookies works out at the end. I don't hate doing it. But it is extremely chaotic. Math is almost over. Until next time and off to anthropology!
-mag
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