Moony and Padfoot

Yes yes...i have made many friends online. I know I'm a loser so don't waste your time telling me again. My online name is usually bella or mangos. For safety reasons and for twilight obsession reasons. Through flash gear or myspace or whatever I have made a few. Here are a few of my favorites from ones that i had with Moon and Padfoot. I miss them dearly and have no contact with them any more. They had the most unique and strange relationship. So strange that I became friends with them very easily.

They were both guys. 18 years old, both of them. And in love with each other. No, Moony and Padfoot from the real harry potter story did not fall in love but these two did. They were so funny i can't even begin to explain to you how entertaining they were. I saved several of our conversations. Sometimes i read them and i laugh out loud at the things we talked about. The three of us went through a lot. It used to be the four of us, including Rae. But she got grounded and disappeared for a loooooooooong time. It was saddening.
and one last thing. They are English. FUNNY English guys. They say funny british stuff that reminds me a lot of the humor J.K. Rowling puts in her books. Anyways. Here is ONE of them. R.I.P our random convos. <3 I'll paste more in the future.

Remus = Moony
ILoveTesco = Padfoot
bella=me

bella: *looks around* >.>
ILoveTesco: Is there room for me?
Remus: If I move, possibly. -tumbles out of hammock onto e-floor-
bella: :O Remus
ILoveTesco: Awww
bella: I will remember to buy the King-Sized hammock next time?
Remus: I'm too... jointy for hammocks anyways, it's all knees and elbows.
ILoveTesco: YUS BELLA
ILoveTesco: Stabby elbows
bella: ouch
Remus: Elbows of knife like proportions
bella: *winces*
ILoveTesco: That stab you in the ribs
Remus: But you have shins of steel so we're even.
bella: So graphic >.>
ILoveTesco: Yus
bella: *deep sigh* I haven't seen Rae in ages ...
bella: I blame you two XP
ILoveTesco: I know! Where is Rae!!!
ILoveTesco: I miss her
Remus: She mourned us.
ILoveTesco: :(
ILoveTesco: My thumb hurts
bella: She seemed to have disappeared when I first reunionized with you two ...
bella: Are you cursed by any chance?
Remus: It's our return then, she dislikes us and hid/
ILoveTesco: :S
bella: With any anti-rae spells?
Remus: I blame Sirius' parents.
Remus: for everything.
Remus: in the world.
bella: :O Of course she likes you
bella: Blasphemy
ILoveTesco: The last thing I remember speaking to her about was a
Little Red Riding Hood
Remus: Including sombreros.
bella: That was so long ago
ILoveTesco: I LIKE SOMBREROS
ILoveTesco: Yeah bella :S
Remus: -makes dying noise-
bella: Sombreros are apart of meh Heritage
bella: :D
ILoveTesco: Sombreros rock. Stuff you Remus
Remus: -non committal wave of hand-
ILoveTesco: Don't give me that
bella: Oh is he fussing about the large hats?
ILoveTesco: Yes
bella: Intriguing
Remus: In my head I am too busy reliving Halloween.
Remus: I was traumatised by a sun hat.
bella: :O
bella: You poor soul
ILoveTesco: *tut tut*
ILoveTesco: Iccle Remmy
Remus: I was eight and some boy buried me in the sand and put a big
hat on my head and nobody found me for ages.
ILoveTesco: Aww
bella: DX
bella: oh noes
ILoveTesco: Remmy makes me think of vroom
ILoveTesco: It sounds odd. ew
Remus: Makes me think of Gambit.
Remus: -ponders-
bella: gumbo...
ILoveTesco: Oh... hush. Your face. Hush it.
Remus: <--silenced but pondering
ILoveTesco: Hush your brain
bella: *raises hand vigorously* question...
Remus: <---silenced but still alert.
ILoveTesco: Everytime I saw a stripey yellow scarf I didn't go 'ooohh Wolverine'
Remus: Yus Bella?
ILoveTesco: Yus
bella: Why do you type wot instead of what?
bella: *curious*
Remus: You go, Oi hufflepuff.
bella: mhm -nods-
ILoveTesco: Yes, not 'Wolverine' then
Remus: I do not.
bella: hm ...
ILoveTesco: I don't type wot?
Remus: <---thoroughly scandalised
Remus: <---SCANDALISED.
bella: why with an 'o'
bella: Dear Padfoot has a clone ...
Remus: I am a sub teacher bella, I have to spell correctly.
ILoveTesco: BUGGER
ILoveTesco: I LIKE SPELLING
bella: Oh .. I see
ILoveTesco: I didn't just type that. But I don't say wot
bella: hum
Remus: I am confused. When have we spelt what with an o?
ILoveTesco: Oh god, I feel used
bella: Well most english people spell it with an 'o' here
ILoveTesco: They are bloody mental
bella: But apparently you two do not
bella: Intriguing
Remus: Ah, so we spell it with the a but others don't?
ILoveTesco: Obviously, because 'wot' doesn't make sense. That's like wotsits
Remus: Or wotcher.
bella: hmm
bella: They say
ILoveTesco: Neither of which make any sense are are annoying
bella: Wot are you talking about...or wot is that
bella: its strange >.>
Remus: Ah
Remus: you mean on the internet?
ILoveTesco: I feel unclean
bella: yes yes
ILoveTesco: Oh, internet slang
bella: *sprays Padfoot with Simple Green*
ILoveTesco: Some people can't be bothered to type properly so they
make fools of themselves
ILoveTesco: WHY GREEN?
bella: Thats the name of it!
Remus: I have a stick up my arse and it makes me picky about internet spelling.
bella: Simple Green ...
ILoveTesco: WHATS SIMPLE GREEN?
bella: It cleans
ILoveTesco: Oh. Thank you
bella: :O you don't have simple green?
ILoveTesco: No...? Do we Remus?
bella: It is an all purpose spray
Remus: No?
bella: My personal favorite
Remus: We have Mr Muscle
Remus: And Flash.
bella: WHAT?!
ILoveTesco: Yeah, and Dettol
Remus: Superhero stuff.
bella: Does it flex things clean?!
ILoveTesco: And Windolene!
Remus: Only when Sirius uses it Bella.
bella: Pfff
ILoveTesco: M'buff
bella: I see. *snickers*
Remus: Very.
ILoveTesco: Hahahahaha
bella: >.>
Remus: -spasm-
bella: Mr. Muscle *giggles to death*
ILoveTesco: I think my owl went walk about
bella: Here clean this table with MR.MUSCLE
ILoveTesco: I swear to god Bella, google it, lol
bella: tee hee
Remus: Mr Muscle, I mean, Pads, I found your owl. He was eating my windowsill
ILoveTesco: Hahahaha
Remus: Nrg.
ILoveTesco: Poor Raven, he's deluded
Remus: Nevermore.
ILoveTesco: And an apron
Remus: Forget Mr Muscle, Hood's my new favourite.
ILoveTesco: There's a cleaning agent called Hood?
Remus: How else did I end up in the bathtub?
ILoveTesco: Oh?Oh
Remus: It was obviously strategic.
ILoveTesco: You are some sort of ice queen
ILoveTesco: ?
Remus: Lady Macbeth?
ILoveTesco: Mother?
bella: oh dear.. I spaced out
bella: UGH curse unlocked doors!
Remus: Bella, you're brbin but s'time for sleeps so Bye x x
bella: *throws a fit*
ILoveTesco: Bye Bella :(
bella: Goodnight Sirs
bella: :D
Remus: -waves and staggers off to bed-

the end...of only that convo.

Errrghhh

My mom wanted me to go pick up my brother. I told her i didn't want to because it takes like 30 mins to get there without traffic and it was like 5:30 already. She was closer.....waaay closer. We both ended up going there on accident. She never said she would go get him, so i went to go and pick him up. She put words into my mouth like she always does and made me look like a selfish prick to my dad. So my dad is mad at me because I am the one who didn't communicate properly.

I'M in trouble becase I didn't tell my mom I would go pick him up. MOM DIDN"T TELL ME EITHER. Mom NEVER told me that she was going to do it, so I did it. Its EQUALLY our fault. I'm the kinda person that would just say "Oops, we both came to pick him up on accident. I'll make sure to tell you next time." and laugh it over or forget about it. BUT NOOO

My mom ALWAYS gets super pissed about this kinda stuff. No one died! It was an accident!

The only reason I am mad is because I am supposed to take total blame for this whole situation. According to my mom, its a huge deal and its 110% my fault... I'M getting in trouble that was equally the fault of my mother.

And since I'm on a liquid diet with marissa, I drink milk for meals. There is no more milk. Since I am in trouble, I can't ask for anything. So tonight my dinner is water.

You don't have to freak out mom. Its not a huge deal. We miscommunicated. You don't always have to over react. The getting along thing was going good....don't change it now...

No Food

haha ironic how my last entry was food because I am not eating anymore. I have not eaten for 3 days so far. Nothing but liquids with marissa since thats all she can eat. I'm good with it though. I'm always hungry but oh well. Knowing that marissa is doing it too helps.

we can do this missa! x]

FooooOd

The other day i went shopping with tom, veronica, and my aunt at Ralphsss. Tom and i got some pasta and then snuck over to the fruits and vegetables section and made faces in the fooods when the worker people weren't looking. x]

i take a lot of pictures now that i figured out how to blootooth the pictures to my laptop. xP

p.s. Brandon is officially one of the most amazing people in this entire universe.

Me and Catie and are watching all of the offices we have xD
Jimbo and pam are meant for each otherrrr.... haha

Yesterday

I FROOOZEEE.... D: I didn't say ANYTHING. I'm such an idiot pooh in the face. But what was i supposed to say??

anyways...

I'm supposd to talk about yesterday.

Our family went to the pier with the cousins to see fireworks. Rosie and Veronica didn't go because they have boyfriends T_T . So i guess the cousins would mean tom, grams, and aunt susie.

While we were wating for them to start, we got hungry. So me, tom and catie walked downtown to find somewhere to eat. We were late coming back so the fireworks had already started on our way back, but i saw the most beautiful thing, so i didn't mind being late. As we were walking, we were still somewhat between tall some buildings. We could see four different areas where fireworks were going off from where we were standing. It was sooo pretty... Some of the fireworks even reflected off of the buildings so it was like i was standing right in the middle of a dozen fireworks going off around me. It was amazing.

Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette is an AMAZING mooovie.... I'm watching it right now with marissa for like the billionth time. haha...

so since i couldn't find simple green at the store, i bought some leave in hair conditioner for my hair that smells AMAZING. And it helps the waves in my hair behave... I was in a hurry this morning to it was in my car when i gave daniel and sam a ride home. Daniel found it and wanted to try it. When he smelled it he decided that it smelled too girly for him haha. He had it in his hand and tried to put it my MY hair. it was cute because he didn't know what he was doing.... xD

anyway. I dunno why i like putting pictures up so much now. I go through photobucket a lot and i found this one. its rediculously emo but its SO CUTE. I LOVE IT. x] Someday.....that will be me....someday... hahaa

FOoooOd

A mango that was shaped like the moon and a potato chip shaped like a heart.

Heart Room

This is a picture marissa took of my feet and a part of my room....God Bless her talented soul.
I really love this. You have noo idea. Its beautiful in almost every way. Its my heart...

Simple Green

I WENT TO THREE STORES AND I CAN"T FIND IT. vv

i feel bad that i don't have it for her :(

she's asked for it for a long time...

The family is coming home tomorrow.

I shall sleep on the waterbed for the last time tonight. I really need a snuggle buddy though. That would be nice right about now...

And stephenie meyer's discussion on L.A. is sold out. SADFACEEE
Marissa and I are going to go to comicon though. There will be stuff on it there. yay x]


Dear God,
bless those I love,
bless those i do not know,
bless those i dislike,
and may the dislikes become more appealing to me.

Stealing Straws

I had a pretty good weekend...

I didn't think I would because marissa was still camping until saturday and i thought i was gonna by all by myself again T_T

But it was aweessooomee...
Tom freeking cracks me up. I can't breathe sometimes because he makes me laugh so hard. I've been hanging out with him after work everyday. These kids that were playing basketball outside his house thought i was his gf T_T I hate it when that happens but oh well. On friday me and tom went to hang out with annalee. We went to a japanese marketplace called Mitsua (sp?) haha We ate and talked en stuff and then we went to get drinks after. I got a mango tea and it was AMAZING. Except the boe-bahs(sp?) were grossss.... Since there were boe-bahs in the drinks, the straws were HUGE .... they were soooo cooool Tom stole some for me before we left x]

All week work Daniel has been texting me haha. He's crazy, but funny. The other Daniel texts me too but he doesn't live here so we can't really hang out. Anyways, I didn't have anything to do on saturday and i slept until like 11 and Daniel from work, called me and wanted me to come over. Soooo I took a shower and went over to his house. We hung around his room and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Fatory. That was fun.

AND THEN...zomgg

We went over to his friends house because there were no adults there and his friend had a nice house en stuff..... I ended up sitting at the end of the couch. Daniel got kinda tired and put a pillow on my lap and rested his head there. I played with his hair while we watched a movie. It was ridiculously entertaining... Not the movie though. The movied was horrrible. haha After awhile of that marissa called and said she was home. YES!!

So i went to hang out with her even though i had to leave Daneil's hair. sadface. But i missed marissa like crazy. We talked non-stop about like eeverrythinggg.... hearts to you missa.
Today I went to church and hung out with veronica and then Tom and I came back to my house to watch these videos my mom wanted him to watch. We ended up falling asleep on the couch lol But it was still entertaining. We had pizza en stuff.

Not a bad weekend...

Melanie and Jared

This is the excerpt of the book I was reading that made me forget where i was once I was done reading it. Their love is AMAZING...something I hope to have someday.

And stephenie meyer is a Genius.......

(Coming Soon)

Daniel and Family

I'm in tom's room hanging out.
No more crying i decided. My eyes are still not back to normal yet....bleh.
After two long weeks of this misery i think I'm finally Ok though...

I've gone through something like this three times. It never fully heals....ever. But I can eventually move on. I can move on THIS time for several reasons.

1. My family loves me. I may not recieve the type of love that I want from them because I can only get that kinda from a guy, but at least its love. Until I find the kind I want, my family is there for me.

I've been hanging out with my cousins a lot. Especially Tom. He'd be my closest guy friend and prolly as close to a guy as I'll get for awhile. He really makes me laugh and i just love him.... I get him in trouble with my grama and its HILARIOUS. funny stuff.

2. Green. Green makes me happy...i dunno why. I went through photobucket and found some a LOT of icons and put them on my myspace.

3. Work. Work has been helping me think of other things. And when i don't have anything to do there, I read and Stephenie Meyer is an AMAZING writer. I forgot I was at Work. The romances that she writes about are incredible....its like she took every girls dream and wrote it down. If only guys like that really DID exist. v.v I'm making a separate entry for that.

Co-workers. I was sitting bymyself but two guys decided to come and sit with me at lunch now. Daniel is the more talkative one. They are really nice... and I don't have to sit alone anymore. We hang out during breaks too. Daniel was asking me a LOT of questions.... a lot.... He found out that i don't have a lot of friends haha...he said he was gonna take me places and introduce me to people. that should be fun hopefully.

4. Blogtv. I've been broadcasting a lot and co-host with Daniel(different than work daniel) or Marissa. Its like T.V but on the internet and people can come and watch. Since I have a webcam, its easy to broadcast and people actually come and watch me and talk to me in a chat right next to my broadcasting window. They type to me and I just talk back out loud. Some of them are really weird, and if they're tooooo weird then I have the power to kick them out of the chat or my channel or whatever. The nice normal ones re pretty coool. And very nice. I met daniel on there. He's funneh. He has a cam too and wanted to co-host one day. I decided why not, and now he co-host with me all the time if I'm not co-hosting with marissa.

I'm watching so you think you can dance.... love this show.

I'll be ok.

.:bai:.

I Should

I should erase everything we talked about in the pink and green box we used to have. Re-reading it over and over again doesn't help.

But everytime I re-read it, i think, I'll just keep it a little longer...

Crying doesn't help either. And it makes my eyes hideously puffy for over 24 hours... Jeff kept thinking I was really tired at work when I'm not.

I need to suck it up and get over it.

GET OVER IT MAG now!

Daniel is going to call me on thursday. That will help. I think I might visit Raf. And I've been hanging out with tom and ropo and veronica alot. It doesn't make everything go away because i remember again when i'm alone but they are good distractions and i like hanging out with them.

I miss marissa.
I miss Catie.

this would be my heart < X 3

wow I'm emoo now x]

.:bai:.

Ironic

How ironic that some of the last words were

Turn your frown uspide down. At least I'm not leaving forever.

Meehh

bella aches emotionally and physically without him. She cries over him and goes numb.

Somewhere in this crazy life,
We can become confused and lost.
Somewhere in the world of chance,
We pay more than things should cost.
Somewhere in this magical ride,
We may stumble and fall to the ground.
Somewhere in the Dark of night,
We can lose what we have found.
Somewhere in this crazy world,
We do everything the same.
Somewhere in our normal lives,
Some of us will become insane.
Somewhere at a point in time,
We may lose our mind's true sight.
Somewhere with the shining sun above,
Would have become as dark as night.
Somewhere from there to here,
We can start to lose our grip.
Somewhere we may lose all hope,
And feel we are about to slip.
Somewhere things are different,
Better than what we think.
But things can change so easily,
As quick as just one blink.

Pie Cones

Pie crust needs filling. It has cried at its departure. Thats just how it works.



here's a part of a convo i had with eddie. pretty freekin hilarious. It helps to read about something happy.

chemistrybeaker: good!
magdalena Rymer: LOL
magdalena Rymer: once me and catie were acting really drunk
magdalena Rymer: and we remembered that you always said that
magdalena Rymer: and for like an hour thats all we said
chemistrybeaker: LOL
magdalena Rymer: ahaha
chemistrybeaker: i can picture that
magdalena Rymer: and then
magdalena Rymer: when we had to leave...
magdalena Rymer: dominic made me sit in the very back of the van
magdalena Rymer: and i said
magdalena Rymer: "Black people...BACK OF THE BUS!"
1:20 AM
chemistrybeaker: hahaha
magdalena Rymer: it took you that long to typ ethat?
magdalena Rymer: for real?
magdalena Rymer: xD
chemistrybeaker: i missed the enter button
magdalena Rymer: k
chemistrybeaker: i kept pushing shift
magdalena Rymer: >.>
magdalena Rymer: <.<
chemistrybeaker: I . I
magdalena Rymer: x]
chemistrybeaker: that's your eyes looking forward
magdalena Rymer: whaaat?
magdalena Rymer: ahahahh
magdalena Rymer: OHHH
magdalena Rymer: LMFFAO
chemistrybeaker: wuha
magdalena Rymer: omg
magdalena Rymer: i can't breathe
magdalena Rymer: haha ok...
magdalena Rymer: i think i'm good
magdalena Rymer: how do you know that they aren't cones?
magdalena Rymer: HMMMM?
chemistrybeaker: I have this feeling
chemistrybeaker: deep in my heart
magdalena Rymer: omg
chemistrybeaker: that they aren't cones
magdalena Rymer: ahaha
magdalena Rymer: you
magdalena Rymer: def
magdalena Rymer: need sleep
chemistrybeaker: i do!
chemistrybeaker: work starts at ocho tomorrow
magdalena Rymer: omgawsh
magdalena Rymer: jeebus
chemistrybeaker: i know
chemistrybeaker: i should seriously get going now!
magdalena Rymer: mhmm
magdalena Rymer: imma finish this moovie
chemistrybeaker: it was awesome talking to you
magdalena Rymer: likewise mah home skilet
chemistrybeaker: good night and peace afuera
magdalena Rymer: ciao

Wish

Why not a time when things weren't going so horribly. ugggghhhh

i hate being a girl. I hate it all. all of it. bleh

I wish i got to hang out with so and so more often....

I wish that i didn't have a stupid mini-van so that i could have visited fraser in april when he was close and wanted me to.

I wish I wasn't in arizona anymore. Its too hot. And i want to hang out with marissa.

I wish i had a million dollars.

I wish i had clearer skin.

I wish Catie didn't go out with that guy.

I wish I hadn't stayed out in the sun too long.

I wish that my parents weren't upset with me.

I wish that Fredrick would leave me alone....I don't like him.

I wish that fredricks mom was nicer.

I wish too many things.

I wish i had a mango.

13

So far things aren't usually as they seem. Just when you get the hang of things it all disappears into something else.

I'd have like to thought it was going to be ok but i dunno if they will be. It was the first time i let myself go. The very first time I didn't care how much i put myself out there into the range of being able to be hurt. That was a bad idea. This next part will take forever. Longer than forever i think because its happened before but never so strongly.

Thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks for letting me know. Thanks for all of the false hopes that I got in return. Thanks for the next year or so to come. Thanks for taking that vulnerability that i don't think will be available to anyone ever again. Thanks be honest and coming to me. Thanks.


whatever meh.

Missa to the Rescue

baha missa <3



mangos: Dead yet?
9:41:47 AM mangos: x]
9:41:56 AM youareriddikulus: not there yet
9:41:59 AM youareriddikulus: P:
9:42:02 AM mangos: bahaa
9:42:06 AM youareriddikulus: raf hasn't come to pick me up
9:42:13 AM mangos: ohh
9:43:00 AM mangos: bah i'm twitching like crazy
9:43:02 AM mangos: after running
9:43:06 AM mangos: how do i stop that?!
9:43:42 AM youareriddikulus: hahah
9:43:45 AM youareriddikulus: keep running?
9:43:52 AM youareriddikulus: you mean like your legs right?
9:43:57 AM mangos: and my arms
9:43:59 AM mangos: haah
9:44:45 AM youareriddikulus: intereseting
9:46:09 AM mangos: imma showa
9:46:10 AM mangos: burb
9:57:46 AM mangos: mookays
10:06:59 AM youareriddikulus: whoa whoa wwhoa
10:07:03 AM mangos: ?
10:07:10 AM mangos: was my internet being stoop
10:07:11 AM youareriddikulus: you okay?
10:07:14 AM youareriddikulus: hahahhahahahahha
10:07:15 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:07:16 AM mangos: LOL
10:07:19 AM mangos: I"M FINE
10:07:21 AM mangos: xD
10:07:22 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHHA
10:07:28 AM mangos: why do you ask?
10:07:35 AM youareriddikulus: i don't know
10:07:37 AM youareriddikulus: i though maybe
10:07:42 AM mangos: thought*
10:07:44 AM youareriddikulus: someone was like attacking you
10:07:47 AM mangos: D:
10:07:48 AM youareriddikulus: signing you on and off
10:07:52 AM mangos: lmfao
10:08:00 AM mangos: -Struggle as I sign off-
10:08:08 AM mangos: -sign on punch punch-
10:08:10 AM mangos: -dead-
10:12:46 AM mangos: lmfao
10:12:54 AM mangos: question marissa O
10:12:56 AM youareriddikulus: hahaha
10:13:00 AM youareriddikulus: hmmmmmmmmmmmm??????????????
10:13:02 AM youareriddikulus: answer
10:13:05 AM youareriddikulus: ????|
10:13:18 AM mangos: Whart would you have done if i had not answered to the "are you okay?"
10:13:22 AM mangos: Theres not much you could do
10:13:26 AM mangos: WHAT*
10:13:37 AM youareriddikulus: haha whart
10:13:47 AM youareriddikulus: whart i would have done
10:14:14 AM mangos: v.v
10:14:57 AM youareriddikulus: would have been to steal rafs car (even though i can't drive it and would subsequently led to both of our deaths) and driven to your house and bash open your door to kill your attacker
10:15:10 AM mangos: BASH
10:15:12 AM mangos: hahahahaaa
10:15:15 AM mangos: ahahaha
10:15:24 AM mangos: subsquently
10:15:26 AM mangos: hahaha
10:15:41 AM youareriddikulus: well i probably would have called your cell phone first though
10:15:42 AM youareriddikulus: >.>
10:15:47 AM mangos: hahahaah
10:15:51 AM youareriddikulus: you know before taking it to the next level
10:16:15 AM mangos: next level
10:16:25 AM mangos: My attacker had it coming
10:16:30 AM mangos: son of a bish
10:19:01 AM mangos: omg
10:19:07 AM mangos: everytime i look at this wondow
10:19:10 AM mangos: i start alughign
10:19:17 AM youareriddikulus: hahah wondow
10:19:19 AM mangos: and today i'm being tested for dysliexia
10:19:22 AM youareriddikulus: i'm laughing too
10:19:26 AM mangos: x]
10:19:31 AM youareriddikulus: wait really?
10:19:32 AM youareriddikulus: no
10:19:35 AM mangos: haha
10:19:37 AM mangos: not really
10:19:41 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:19:47 AM youareriddikulus: well why do you laugh at the window
10:19:57 AM mangos: because o f the words inside of it
10:20:02 AM mangos: now i'm gonga to meditate
10:20:06 AM mangos: going*
10:20:10 AM youareriddikulus: whattttttt
10:20:12 AM youareriddikulus: wow i
10:20:13 AM youareriddikulus: am
10:20:16 AM mangos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAOooooooooooooOOOOoooooooommmm
10:20:17 AM mangos: DONE
10:20:18 AM youareriddikulus: cofused
10:20:21 AM mangos: good
10:20:24 AM mangos: stay that way
10:21:16 AM youareriddikulus: so raf got here
10:21:25 AM youareriddikulus: but he doesn't want to take me to the office
10:21:31 AM mangos: xD
10:21:40 AM mangos: I could take you if you want
10:21:46 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHAAHHA
10:21:47 AM mangos: pencil you into my busy shedule
10:21:50 AM youareriddikulus: wow i do not want
10:21:52 AM youareriddikulus: hahahah
10:21:58 AM mangos: haha
10:22:29 AM youareriddikulus: raf doesn't want to stay and he knows if he drives me he will have to stay
10:22:40 AM mangos: ahaha
10:22:44 AM mangos: mookays
10:22:56 AM mangos: the offer stands as tall as the satute of liverty
10:23:02 AM mangos: staue* ?
10:23:06 AM mangos: Statue*
10:23:17 AM mangos: liberyt
10:23:19 AM mangos: LIBERTY
10:23:34 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHAHHAHAHs djghirtaurtie vhagdfzv
10:23:35 AM youareriddikulus: fagiu dsfudsasaff
10:23:40 AM youareriddikulus: HAHAHA
10:23:43 AM youareriddikulus: omgizzle
10:23:45 AM mangos: I don speak dutch missa
10:23:47 AM mangos: >.>
10:24:14 AM youareriddikulus: i think my typo habit is rubbing off on you
10:24:26 AM mangos: maybe on the day i was born
10:24:29 AM mangos: you were in TJ
10:24:33 AM mangos: touched my hand as a babeh
10:24:45 AM youareriddikulus: also the statue of liverty isn't that tall
10:24:46 AM youareriddikulus: HAHA
10:24:50 AM mangos: SAY WHAT
10:24:53 AM youareriddikulus: yeah okas
10:24:55 AM mangos: YES IT IS
10:25:04 AM youareriddikulus: not as tall as like
10:25:10 AM youareriddikulus: something else...
10:25:14 AM mangos: no marissa
10:25:22 AM mangos: it doesn't scrape the edge of the oZone layer
10:25:28 AM mangos: but that doesn't mean its not tall
10:25:30 AM mangos: x]
10:25:40 AM youareriddikulus: well you know
10:25:42 AM mangos: WOAH
10:25:47 AM mangos: POOH ALRET
10:25:48 AM mangos: ALERT*
10:25:51 AM mangos: mag is being a pooh
10:25:52 AM youareriddikulus: it's not as tall as say
10:25:57 AM youareriddikulus: ME
10:26:02 AM mangos: O:
10:26:10 AM mangos: we're talking about the one in NY
10:26:27 AM mangos: I saw national treasure 2 too >.>
10:26:57 AM youareriddikulus: and i am talking about
10:26:59 AM youareriddikulus: ME
10:27:07 AM mangos: humm
10:27:11 AM mangos: now I'M lost
10:27:16 AM mangos: oh wellskie
10:27:18 AM youareriddikulus: hahha jk
10:27:24 AM youareriddikulus: i guess i'm not that tall
10:27:27 AM youareriddikulus: BUT
10:27:33 AM youareriddikulus: there is something taller
10:27:38 AM youareriddikulus: it's called mt. everest
10:27:47 AM mangos: there's something taller
10:27:49 AM mangos: air
10:27:50 AM mangos: ?
10:28:13 AM youareriddikulus: the cn tower is pretty tall
10:28:27 AM mangos: hummsie hum hum
10:28:43 AM youareriddikulus: and the sears tower
10:28:48 AM mangos: v.v
10:28:52 AM mangos: the offer stands
10:28:55 AM mangos: is my point
10:29:01 AM youareriddikulus: okay
10:29:03 AM mangos: baha
10:29:05 AM youareriddikulus: thanks

bah

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb


Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj










nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn



























v.v







mooshashashashahshadsdheilgrughelkrjdfhglvkjerf

ARGH

WHY...

Its almost two thirty in the morning.

I can't sleep.

I have to get up at 7 to take dominic to school.

Summer courses were FULL.

I feel sickkkk.....like i'm going to throw up.


Bleh.

I've been feeling sick for some reason.

Make it stop.

bleh.

Ily God.

kuhljghkfgd

bleeeehh

THIS IS WHY

I'm mushy. very very very very mushy and hopelessly romantic, which is why i LOVE twilight....and here is a perfect quote to explain about that part of me and about why i read Twilight....enjoy.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddently everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. when you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everythign went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.''

Done...

School is done....thank goodness. I hope to accomplish a lot of things this summer. Def get in more running.

But today was almost perfect.
I slept in.
I woke up and chatted online for awhile.
I picked up rosie and we hung out at marissa's house allll daaay.
Me, raf, tess, rosie, and marissa played rock band for like 6 hours.....
It was nice to just hang around and not have to worry about school work.
And rock band is super fun. I got to play drums.
And me, tess, and raf played the drums all at once at one point....haha
I had the yellow,green, and blue one, raf had the red one, and tess had the bass. loved it. haha
I'm glad marissa is home.
I'm glad i had a good day.
And by AMLOST perfect.....i meant only one thing was missing.
But it was still a good day.

.:bai:.

Fifteen

I was taking a shower and when i got out I fell.....


and I hurt my ankle. grrr I'm such a clutz... DX


I just dowloaded Forever by Chris Brown and now I have exactly 1500 songs.

The song is amazing.

I wonder how long I'll last before i get another song.

peace.

mathh

Sarge made a hand written entry once. I liked it. :) so here's mine.

Smelly

Warning: kinda of a feminly entree and mostly complaining....just a heads up.

So I had to go to the dovtor's to get tested for cervical cancer because i'm 18 en blah blah blah....I was already freaking out before hand because i HATE going to the doctor's and when i go there....they had all of this stuff that they were going to put in me! D: I was freaking out.... I don't want ANYONE shoving anything up in me until I get married. UGH! Especially a stranger!!!! DX Grosssssssssss!!!!!

But then....I was saved.....because she had to ask me questions beforehand and the first one was, "Are you having sex?"

I Am not sexually active so I said no and THEN she said that I DIDN"T HAVE TO DO THE EXAMINATION THING! THANK GOD! Thank you God. Thank you.

I don't have to do the stupid thing until I become sexually active or until I'm 21. Soooo 21 It is! yussss....

BUT the torture wasn't over........she made me take this REALLY painful vaccine for an STD that I DON"T HAVE. She said it would be better if i got it before I became active en blaaaahh. I was sooo angry D: and freaking out all over again because I haaaaate neeeeedles for life DX aaaaarrghhhhhh

And this one hurt even more than usual.....and THEN they took my pee. AND they took like 3 tubes of my blood from the same arm ahhhhhh hhhhhhh


I hate the doctors D: I really really hated the past hour. And now my arm is sore and I have to go study for math and go to a stupid gs meeting.....uggghhhh

AND the Doctor's smells funnyy ew ... a BAD funny. D:

My arm hurts. meh.

Sorry this was just mostly comlaining. -_-'
.:bye:.

The Search

So the other day I went to Target with Rosie and Catie to buy my mom a present. We kinda all split up in different directions though haha. Catie and I re-united in the cards section to look at one for my mom. At the end of the aisle there were like 20 smow globes on a shelf and Catie and I wound alllll of them so that the music was going all at the same time. It was HILARIOUS. haha...i took a video of it on my phonee.

Anyway. So, yes I m religious and yes I am in the choir and yes I really can't stand country except for a few exceptions...

Just because I am in the choir does NOT mean I like all of the music. I'm ok with most of it. There are a LOT of worship songs that i really cannot stand for some reason. That does NOT mean however that I don't love God. I just really don't like most of the stuff you find on T.V about worship CD's en stuff. I dunno why.

I DO NOT like country. I really really don't. I draw the line at Shania Twain. I lover her. But basically all other country is on my nono list.

So the weirdest thing happened...Catie and I split up again at Target. I was in the electronics section because there's always cool stuff there. I was looking at these earphones that they were advertising. I put them on and pressed the demo button and I heard this song.....and fell in love with it. It was weird because 1.) I CANNOT stand country D: and 2.) It was a religious song that wasn't from church...I like very few religious songs that we don't sing in church.

But this one was AMAZING. I had nooo idea who sang it or anything though because it was a demo D:
So I recorded it on my phone and my momm helped me figure out who sang it and stuff..... ty mom <3

"The Search" by Dolorean

Love it. Dunno why. Its very old folkie. haha
Another good random country sounding religious song is Alison Krauss's Version of "Down to The River to Pray"

I have heard many versions, but hers takes the cake. Dunno why.

the end
.:bai:.

Cuz For Life

Tom is my cousin. And I'm sick and tired of my parents telling me that I could technically marry him if i wanted to. NO MOM. NO DAD. He is my cousin. I don't care that we don't have the same blood. I have several and many reasons why I would never marry him or even think of him in that sense. GROSS!! He IS however one of my closest guy friends, considering we've grown up together. So.....CATIE, you too, need to stop bugging me about it. It's gross....YES I like talking to tom and I like hanging out with him. Ok? I could in fact give you a list of reasons why i would never think of tom that way, EVER. ugh. Catie, its like telling you that you could marry dominic since technically he isn't your brother because you are adopted too. Gross right? Same thing here.... anyway. I was over at grams house, and i was going to say hi to tom but my grams said he was sleeping because he was exhausted because he let someone hit him with a bat.....It was for some art thing, but i was truly scarred. He had a performance and wanted to get his point across i suppose but I couldn't handle it all that well. Seeing someone I care about be beaten up like that is scary. Very very scary...... Here is the convo I had with him about it.

magermuse: tom!
magermuse: whyyy
magermuse: did you let someone hit you
magermuse: with a bat
10:40 PM
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: you watched it???
magermuse: O:
magermuse: there's a video?
thomashamiltom: did you read the note??
magermuse: i was over last night
thomashamiltom: OH SHIT!!!
thomashamiltom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sAytoBLAVY
magermuse: and i was gonna say hi
thomashamiltom: lol
magermuse: but grams said you were sleepers
magermuse: and you let somone hit you
thomashamiltom: o yeah i was POOPED
magermuse: and you were an idiot she said
thomashamiltom: yeah i was exhausted
thomashamiltom: HAHA
thomashamiltom: she was sayin that tonight too when she watched the video
thomashamiltom: WATCH IT!!!!
magermuse: i am
thomashamiltom: its all real
magermuse: but omg...i'm scared
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: its amazing to me
thomashamiltom: my mom is still watching it
thomashamiltom: for like the 6th time
magermuse: DX
magermuse: tom
magermuse: i'm like freaking out
magermuse: i think i'm gonna cry
thomashamiltom: hahaha!
thomashamiltom: dude!
thomashamiltom: i have welts
magermuse: ahhhh
magermuse: tomm
thomashamiltom: and i loved every second of it!!
magermuse: don do this again DX
magermuse: pleeeease
magermuse: meh
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: next time you have to watch
thomashamiltom: but i dont plan on doing something twice so dont worry
magermuse: ok...
magermuse: how could someone agree
magermuse: to hit you
thomashamiltom: unless its BIGGER
magermuse: like that
thomashamiltom: lol
magermuse: WHAT
magermuse: bigger
magermuse: you're crazy!
thomashamiltom: it tok a LOONG time to convince him
thomashamiltom: and he went up to mom after the concert and apologized to her
thomashamiltom: lol
thomashamiltom: hes so nice
magermuse: D:


i really hope he doesn't do this again. ugh.

b.j.n. MISS YOU

Meh

I'm such a jerk D:

why can't i just do it. ldkfaklsjglwiekrghilier

Armm

I was talking to cailtlin for like an hour on the phone....and my arm is soore. Laaaaameeooo


xD

math bleh

Almost

So steph told me when the Twilight movie is going to come out and now everything i think about it, I'm SUPER excited but partially regretful. Why? here is why:

Veronica is as obsessed as I am with the Twilight series and was searching anything that had to do with the movie around november. She found a list of people they still needed to cast. One of them was Angela. They wanted a hispanic for the role. She doesnt do or say much at all. She is just one of the friends of Bella that sits at the same table and stuff. But anyway. On thanksgiving when Veronica came over, she told me I should send in pics for Angela's part. I didn't think too much about it because they would probably choose someone else etc. etc. Veronica kept telling me I should and told her SHE could do it if she really wanted the pics to go in. So veronica took a couple of pictures of me from my comuter and sent them in.

THEN a few weeks later, the agent or secretary or whatever for the casting director called me :O She told me that the casting director loved the pics. BUT before I could audition, i needed to give a 30$ fee. I didn't have the 30 dollars ... and i was not going to ask my parents. I hate asking them for money and it was for a movie. Long shot that they would choose me and i would sound really stupid haha. But anyways, they called again a few weeks later to see if I could sign up yet. I didn't have the money bleh.

Now I'm going to go see the Twilight moovie and see Angela and think, if I had had the 30 dollars, that could have been me because the casting director liked my pictures. Oh well! It was a long shot anyway. An Almost haha

Andrew, you took my snapple cap! grr.... And look at me when I"m talking to you! I feel like you're ignoring me....My art teacher looks behind us when she teaches and it bothers the crap outta me. You look at Catie when you're talking to her!! LOOK AT ME! ok... sorry i got kinda angry there >.> anyway.....

My mom just texted me the word 'yes'. I have no idea what she is talking about -_-'

I have to go do some math now....

.:byebye:.

Ahhh Flares

Two days. I need a distraction. meh.

Catie told me about this guy who tied flares to some balloons in texas and let them go up at night. Everyone was freaking out because they thought it was a UFO haha. Funneh.

Miss you

.:bai:.

Graceful Dog

I saw a cat the other day without a tail. It looked like a graceful dog. >.>
weird ha



.:bai:.

Anyway.

I am going to the party anyway -_-


God grant me mercy please and keep him away.....pease. meh. I was stuck either way i suppose.

Mango Tree

soo boored. gah

I drew this >.>

Mexican Fossil Bon Fire

I'm booored blah. I'm at my mom's school. It was either come with mom and be stuck or stay home and then go to Church boy's brothers party and I already have to deal with church boy at church and catie wouldn't go with me so i wouldn't be alone so i was stuck going with mom. blah Stuck here for who knows how long....and they block aim here grr. I'll be a fossil before she decides we should leave. meh. O: but then I can be oil for future generations that need oil for cars and such.


So last night i went to a mexican party for Esthela's nephew. I LOVE going to these things because physically i crave mexican food every now and then. Real mexican food, which i can get from Esthela and her family members. Plus most of Esthela's family is freaking hilarious. haha. Reasons i don't like to go are some....

1. Esthela always tries to pair me up with some of her other nephews. meh. She tried getting Catie and I to dance with a few of them. Of course I wanted to dance! But not with them! No offense... their pervos...I'd rather dance with Catie or someone like that.

2. They drink like craaazy. Haha its really funny sometimes but sometimes it gets kinda weird. Like last night a two year old was drinking a bottle of beer and no one cared...that was a little ridiculous. I would have snatched it away from him if his dad wasn't standing right next to him....his dad obviously didn't care. They gave some beer to Catie and I. You can't really refuse anything from a mexican because they take the answer yes as a yes AND the answer no as yes. They feed you and feed you and give you more and more and more.... so anyway. I drank a little to be polite because I told them i didn't want any but them gave me some anyway and I forgot how Hooooribble it tastes.. BLEH gross! I ate three chunks of lime to get rid of the taste...meh. Nasty nasty.

haha....I ate soo much x_x it was the only meal i had all day though because i knew they'd feed me more than i could handle. AND we got los of mexican candy O: woo!

Right now my sister and i are texting because she is supposed to be doing hw and not talking to me. Anyways. She wants to know what she needs to bring to have a bon fire and i told her she only needed two things. 1.A fire and 2. A bon.
baha I'm so helpful.....

peace out for now

.:bai:.

One

Its almost one -_-....


And I just woke up.

I'm such a bum! I can't do this again >.> What a waste of a day.

Real Dreams

So every now and then I have dreams where I think they were real. Its kind of annoying because I'll do stuff in reaction to dreams i had. Like once I had a dream where someone texted me but no one did but I responded to that person anyway. Embarassing..... I check my sent/inbox box every morning before I text in the morning now haha. Just to make sure.

So there's this guy that sits two rows in front of me in my Philosophy Class who has shoulder length hair kinda. He got it cut. Buzzed actually... BUT the next time I went to philosophy class it was all grown back! Conclusion: I dreamt that he had gotten this interesting haircut. I was so confused. I thought I was crazy. >.> I am but whatever.

peace out...for now

.:bai:.

Argh

A whole day..... D:


anxiety sucks! meh

sadface

Nom nom

omg

Esthela made us caldito con pollo with frijoles y arrozzzzz and it was AMAZING. I won't have to eat anything the rest of the night xD


There was a pamphlet thing on the outside of my window and I rolled my window down to take it off but it just went down with the window and didn't come back up :/ oops

Mr. Bolland had black hightops on today :O exactly like mine. He's awesoome.

And i noticed that drivers stare at me....STOP! I'm human. Get over it. Their prolly debating whether I'm asian or mexican....sigh... oh well. peace out

.:bai:.

Sexy Jesus

OMG.....So I'm on youtube watching Kevjumba because he is hilarious, and i saw an add and it said, "What Would Sexy Jesus Do?"


WTF?!?!?! nooooooo don't do that!!!! D:< so disrespectful ugh!

I found out it was for a stupid moovie called Hamlet 2. UGH! Imma hurt someone.......prefferably someone who was involved in making the movie possible. grrrr

The movie better be about praising Jesus or something. Not giving otu slogans like What would sexy jesus do.... nooooo pleasse noooo

We'll see....ergh

Pink Pokemon

So if you were to ask me what my favorite kind of food was i would say mexican. Esthela makes AMAZING mexican food. Love it and love her. The dominator and I went to go visit her and she made us food like she always does and i asked her if she had lemon. She told me she did but she wanted me to try some of this other stuff she made first. So she made lemon juice and soaked some purple onions in it.... I was a little weirded out at first because the lemon juice ended up turn pink from the purple onions. It was very tastey though :O gracias esthela

I painted my nails this really light pastel lavendar color but it looks kinda pink sometimes. meh I really don't like the color pink but it looks nice in this semi-purple ish pinkish color. whatevs.

My brother got a new pokemon handbook. I found out that evee has two new evolved forms. What the heck?! Three was fine! Don't mess with the original ones ya hoebags!

the end

p.s. Internet connections need to behave.......for seriously......peeeeeeaas?

.:bai:.

No no no

People....do not put rims on minivans. No


Girls do nooot wear different colored bras under white shirts meh

and lastly.

DO NOT wear rosaries as jewelry DX no no nooo

bad ! Rosaries are not a fashion statement. They're for praying. And wearing it around your neck looks tacky.
AND DO NOT GET A TATTOO OF A ROSARY AROUND YOUR ANKLE. (girl from art class)


.:buh bye:.

Just In Case

Brandon! Just incase I don't get to talk to you today, I uploaded my hideous drawing for you onto my photobucket. I tried but its not nearly anywhere at all close to how good you artwork is.

.:bai:.

Cuts on Faces and DDR

For some odd reason.....I noticed that i find cuts on people's faces extremely attractive.

Whhy?? i really have no idea.

I like seeing a cut on a guys lip or on his cheek. Very attractive. I'm soo weiird.


And the other day I got a cut on my lower lip. I have nooo idea how the freak it got there. But i loved it :O. I really liked the way it looked. I'd have kept it there if i could. I also like these three little freckles that i have on my left upper arm....they're aligned in a straight line. Everytime i see it, it reminds me of Orion's Belt (sp?)

Same goes for little scars. Especially around the cheek/eye area. hmm....
Ok enough of my strangeness!


I reeeallly loooove DDR.... I have been playing more recently.

.:bai:.

p.s. Lurve is a wonderful word.

p.p.s. HAPPY BIRHTDAY RAF :D Hearts and Hugs sir

Pronto!

I want school to finish...

Pronto!

Brandon......you need to sign on....


Pronto!


anxiety kicking in...


Marissa....you need to come home...



Pronto!



I need to finish my math..



Pronto!


p.s. is james your middle name?


<3 bai

Lori Anne

haha so I was on the Apple website because I have an iPod that hold 500 songs and I have over 1600 songs. Its VERY hard to pick and choose what will end up on my iPod. So I had questions about the IPod touch. I saw that there was a live chat you could have with an Apple Expert. I clicked it and asked her my questions. I thought maybe it would be a robot because how on earth would they find enough people to just sit at a computer and chat live with customers? Soooo here was our convo. Funny. haha

You are chatting with Lori Anne, an Apple Expert
Lori Anne: Hi, my name is Lori Anne. Welcome to Apple!
Me: hi
Lori Anne: Good afternoon.
Me:For the iPod touch
Me:do you have to get the internet?
Lori Anne: It is a function of the iPod. It can only be accessed in a wireless internet area.
Me:Is there like a monthly fee for it?
Lori Anne: No monthly fee, you will use wi-fi, or hot spots for the access.
Me:ohh kay got it
Me:and is there a reason that it cost more for the same amount of memory than the classic? hah
Lori Anne: They are different models with different functions.
Me:hm makes sense
Me:alright thanks!
Lori Anne: You're welcome.
Lori Anne: Would you like to make a purchase today?
Me:haha not yet. I need my mom to make the purchase. I just wanted to get some things cleared up
Lori Anne: I understand.
Lori Anne: May I help with any other product or order questions before you proceed?
Me:No thank you
Lori Anne: You're welcome.
Lori Anne: Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business.
Me:ditto lol ... you're very human-like...
Me:unless you are a human?
Lori Anne: Of course I am a human...
Me:hah Ok. Sorry about that
Lori Anne: Do you know a computer with the name Lori Anne?
Me:I know many robots that have several strange names
Lori Anne: That's ok. Usually people just ask me to misspell words.
Me:haha
Me:That must be fun.
Lori Anne: Sometmies!
Lori Anne: :)
Me:xD
Me:got it
Me:I'd like to work for apple when i get out of school
Lori Anne: It is nice.
Me:oh wait! i have another question!
Me:Do you have the leopard?
Lori Anne: Yes we sell Leopard.
No, I mean personally.
Me:Like you
Lori Anne: Of course!!
Lori Anne: The MacBook Pro has a larger screen, a dedicated graphics card, more expansion options, a backlit keyboard, and a few other features that make it ideal for more advanced users.
Lori Anne: Sorry. See i am human, that was not meant for you.
Me:lol
Me:But is it better than the normal one that comes on Macs?
Me:I don't see how more than one desktop would be useful
Lori Anne: If you are doing video editing it becomes very useful.
Me:hm...
Lori Anne: May I help with any other product or order questions before you proceed?
Me:No. I most unfortunately have to go to my math class
Me:bleh
Me:thanks for your help though
Lori Anne: You're welcome.
Lori Anne: Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business.
Me:bai




p.s. Kiss the Girl is stuck in my head. But for good reasons. :D It helps me be not so anxious until then.

.:bai:.

Bad bad

I haven't gone running this week...bad mag baddd... it makes me feel like a bummm....


>.>


i need to call Vons. And I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat. I want to sleep on my mom's waterbed foreverrr....



:O I love you...yes you. I'm talking to you.


.:bai:.

Love Secretaries that Can't Accomplish

Ok so....I was supposed to go to the doctor's today to have a checkup for cervical cancer since I'm 18 now. Ugh. I was scared out of my brains....


I do NOT want a stranger looking or shoving anything up my chonch....THE END. So NO i did NOT want to go...ugh.



BUUUT


The stupid secretary that scheduled the appointment did it wrong. woooo! So no appt. until MAY!! :D

This secretary that was supposed to do her job....FAILED. But i thank her. Because now I can finish my craploads of hw. And My chonch is safe for the time being.
Gratsi Secretaries that cannot accomplish! Myself and my bod thank you dearly.

I'm sorry if this was too much info. But deal with it. I'm a girl.

DREAM: Weird.....I had a dream that this little kid discovered that his dad was the king of a swamp full of cannibal like creatures. Poor kid was eating human beings and didn't know it until he was like 11.

WTF do my dreams mean? -_-'

Whats wrong with me? haha. I wish I knew why I think the things I do. Or why I dream the dreams I dream.

.:ciao:.

Blaah

hm...


I sat next to this lady the other day. At a talk. She smelled like cheese quesadillas.



ciao

STRESS

I'm so stressed....I wanna throw something or just scream for hours or curl up in a ball forever. Hopefully most of the reasons I'm stressed is normal. Normal for a teenage girl hopefully. bleh

1. Worried that my moose didn't get his letter.
2. That I won't pass my math class
3. That my sister is doing wreckless things
4. That I will hurt the feelings of this guy who likes me and won get a hint
5. That i have to clean for sunday
6. That I'm not pretty enough for anyone (most girls think like this i think?)
7. I need to find a job quick
8. Try not to be mean to this other guy that likes me without hurting HIS feelings....ugh
9. That i don have a major
10. That i won be able to transer in two years maybe
11. That i have to go to the doctor to check for cervical cancer regularly since I'm 18 now. ahhhhh i'm scared.


I think thats it....but right now it makes my brain wanna explode. I wanna eat a pillow or something to make it go away. wrgh

To do...

1. homework for english (write intro, and buy book)
2. clean the room
3. look for another class
4. cal kb
5. clear bank account

Words

I'm going to do this entry in jibberish. It may convey how i feel better than if i were to use words.


blagrh poopie frucker mecker stipoopdd geep iffffoooooooooomeeees sssssstpooooooood gaaaaaahjdkfjjjjieufjkldskja;klji donshfeeufh kslleeeeeej jl;aaaaaaaals jfjiiiiiiieuncbbbbbbbbboahjjjjjjjjjks;;;;;;;;;opwoooooooooopshufhbvvvvvvvvvvejjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkk;ssssssssssjhf

Bored

Sigh

I don't think i have ever been so bored. :P

ok well I am now asst/co leader for catie's Girl Scout troop. I think maybe i am the youngest asst. troop leader in america haha

But i like hanging out with rosie and catie anyway. I think all we do is laugh. And when we are too tired to laugh we talk. XD

soooo during The Great Escape meeting (the great escape is this huge camping thing that happens every 2 years with like 300 girlscouts (older girlscouts) around november. We are apart of the group who is planning it) Catie rosie and I were passing notes.... You might not understand some of it but we were trying sooo hard not to laugh our brains out. I had to pretend to wash me hands because it got crazy..... I forced them and myself to stop because we were going to attract attention. haha well here you go. We passed two at once...

English

I have absolutely NOTHING against mexican people.

One because I am mexican. Physically anyway. Two, because it is a very nice language.




BUT


I would like to go to a school where I walk by and hear people speaking in english instead of spanish. I feel a sense of hostility sometimes. Everyone pretty much keeps to themselves and ironically enough I have only made friends in my spanish class. Is it because none of us really know how to speak in spanish? I'm not sure. This brings up several questions. This is getting weird now. XP

I am TOO white. haha.....but then i look in the mirror and there I am. brown. like sees candy or something. erg

p.s. I have no idea why I despise the idea of turning 18... I seriously panic sometimes. What the hay?

bye

Tired

I'm very tired but I feel like saying this first. On some reality show I remember one of the contests being this: You can't fall asleep. More specifically have your eyes closed for more than 30 seconds. The first team that has someone fall asleep loses. It was pretty intense. Especially at night because there wasn't much to do.

I don't know how they did it because right now I am VERY tired....

Stephenie Meyer

Wow.. I got to meet this genius yesterday which was august 25, 2007. She is so cool and hilarious. She is exactly how I imagined her to be.

Before we got there I freaked out a little because it seemed too good to be true but it was NOT canceled and she did come. It was amazing. I will now record my memory of her.

We got really close seats (we sat on the floor) for the discussion part of her coming. She answered questions and talked about twilight the movie and stuff. I loved it. ALL of it. Anyway so here comes the best part. Since we are from san diego and we went to L.A., we didn't have priority wrist bands so we had to wait outside. When she was done talking, everyone who didn't have wristbands started to walk towards the door which was what I did along with catie, veronica, and rosie. I went wearing a t-shirt I made for the occasion and three scars down the right side of my face. I used some lipstick that I hardly used for the scars. Since I have light brown skin and look somewhat native american, I did the scars to dress up as one of the characters from her book named emily. For people who read the book, it was a little obvious who I was trying to be.

So as we were walking out Stephenie Meyer saw me. She pointed at me, smiled and said, "Oh my God, it's Emily!". I waved back and said, "Ya!". I felt like an idiot but I was extremely excited that she said something to me. I loved it. Whhen we got up to her in line she smiled and said, "Hi emily! Or magdalena really." Because they gave us sticky notes to put in the book so she couuld easily personalize them and she saw my name was really magdalena. I said, "Ya, its a little different." SHe laughed and said, "That is so, so awesome..." I said thanks and walked away for veronica's turn.

I don't think I will ever forget that moment of my life. I hope I don't have an obsession on my hands. I mean what would you do if you got to meet your favorite author?

I will most definetly (sp?) go for the tour of Breaking Dawn.

tata

Fred and George Weasley

I would like to say congratulations to Keane (my favorite band) for making Stephenie Meyer's playlist for Eclipse.

You have all heard this a billion times but she wrote Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. I will be honest that when you hear that it is about vampires you think it stupid and I completely understand. Really I do. I think Stephenie Meyer thinks so too because she rarely says the word in her books. My cousin, my sister, and I are going to go to her book signing on the 25th. There's a link here to her site on the right.

haha (Behind me my dog is trying to bite flies. Its funny.)

Todays question For everyone who will read this: If you were given one super power what would it be and why?

No cheating. Catie and I were talking about this yesterday. I chose flying for too many reasons.

So...My favorite HP characters are Fred an George Weasley. I really do love their humor. Its an inspiration. There are none from the 7th book.


"You don't want to bottle your anger up like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, beaming. "There might be a couple people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."

"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy--"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."
Percy scowled.
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you--"

'What's that supposed to be anyway?' asked Fred, squinting at Dobby's painting. 'Looks like a gibbon with two black eyes.'
'It's Harry!' said George, pointing at the back of the picture, 'says so on the back!'
'Good likeness,' said Fred, grinning.

Harry is rumoured to be the Heir of Slytherin: Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, 'Make way for the heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through …'
Percy was deeply disapproving of this behaviour.
'It is not a laughing matter,' he said coldly.
'Oh, get out of the way, Percy,' said Fred, 'Harry's in a hurry.'
'Yeah, he's nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant,' said George, chortling.

haha... I'm sitting here alone and I am still laughing out loud. They are greatness.
I have a Ron one for cat and a hagrid one for marissa.

"Viktor? Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?" - Ron

"Ah, well, people can be stupid abou' their pets," said Hagrid wisely. Buckbeak spat a few ferret bones onto Hagrid's pillow.

Have a good wednesday everyone.

Boo!

I have been saying that a lot for some reason. I have also been saying 'crackhead' a lot recently. I'm pretty sure i got that from caitlin but how, i am not sure because I hadn't started using it since the middle of the summer and I have only seen cat twice since graduation. :( And apparently you went somewhere. hmm.... hey!! and If i don't see you this month :( then hopefully you'll comeover for my birthday at least.

And one of those two times was when I took dominic to the boardwalk and he chose that padres bear. (the bear i was talking about.) He still has it and watches over it. What a cornball.

I recently started playing HP and the chamber of secrets on my PC. Most entertaining. (missa, I still haven't beaten voldi in the first one :( ) .....those Gnomes are hilarious.

Hey marissa.....do you think we could go to safora's before you leave? I think I would feel like an idiot going by myself. (p.s. sign my yearbook. :P )

Hey sarge, wooow that did clear up a lot of things. Extremely fascinating though. I am going to make a CD called Sarge Selection, and put all of the songs you have told me about on it. I am extremely excited. :D

Dear Sucker fish,
Catie recently informed me that you are supposed to grow to a certain amount of feet. I hope not because we don't have room for you. I hope Catie was greatly mistaken. You are indeed growing bigger and faster than any of the gold fish. We need you to stop growing. That's enough. You are bringing upon your own doom by getting bigger. So stop. In the meantime I will go back to walmart to ask them how big you are supposed to get.


bye everyone...

p.s. This anxiety or nervousness about starting at a new school isn't new but unwelcome. So many times I have had to change schools and make new friends. Not that easy for me but I'll try....

Suffering

Sometimes people forget that God does NOT like suffering, but he allows it. It's not like he just watches it happen either because he suffers when we do. He loves us so much that he couldn't help but put a little of himself into our souls. He made us in his image. He feels what we feel. Its hard to believe because sometimes we get really lonley and its harder to believe during certain times too but he's there. No one understands us better than he does.

To Do

List of things to do. A little stressful. I haven't felt like this since OLP.

1. double check classes and make a schedule for wednesday's registration
2. fill out forms for outdoor skills camp
3. clean off my desk (there are a lot of things that are important on there)
4. mail thank you cards
5. Call steph/danielle so they don't think I'm ignoring them (I have danielle's book)
6. Look for iPod :(
7. Work on my girl scout Gold award (fill out all the crazy forms and double check them.)
8. Not Freak out because marissa is leaving in a month.
9. Work on Gold Award
10. Not freak out about outdoor skills because it will be my first time acting as the major adult for a unit
11. Not freak out that it has been really hard to hang out with caitlin
12. Work on my Girl Scout Gold award so that I don't have a major regret later on
13. Look for a job and get one (call henry's)
14. Not freak out tat everything is slowly changing.
15. Finish my gold award and get it approved by the commitee in time.


This entry realtes a lot to the last on.

Major Goal: Do Not Explode With Craziness

Panic

Dear steph,
I had a horibble dream and the punch line of that dream was you dying. It was scary. I went histerical because I coudn't believe that you had died. I was devastated.....but then I found out that you were still alive. I don't think I have ever felt such a feeling of relief in my life ever. But I was so happy. I love you so much steph! I am going to call you soon!
love, mag


Today I had this wierd panicky feeling. It felt like when the summer was over, I would be forgotten by everyone I once knew before then and I would be completely alone. I felt like I would soon be taken away from everything I knew and especially from the people I knew; like I would soon be thrown into the world starting out at the bottom of the food chain. And I would have no way of getting near the top. It was really acary and slightly depressing. I did not like it one bit. Hopefully this is a temporary feeling. I can feel that comfort zone disappearing. No more OLP. No more a lot of things. What am I going to do with myself? I can be extremely pathetic sometimes...

Dear dear...

Dear Marissa,
You are so funny. Do you remember those big yellow sheets of paper that mrs. russell wrote our names on and then passed around for everyone to sign? Well I found mine and read it. Yours was pretty great:
Merry Christmas!
Magdalena! it might not be Christmas now but one time when you read it it will be christmas! Well your my best friend and your nice, fun, pretty, smart, cool, and you are very funny!
~your bestest buddy pal
~marissa elizabeth oceguera

haha thank you very much. What are the odds that I would find the piece of paper ON christmas? hmm? hilarious. AND You liked using tildas back then I suppose. haha this one was from alejandra fregoso....:

Hey maggie,
You are a super cool friend. Vote 4 me. hope you did. I have fun talking to you. keep keeping track of lianna's questions cause i stopped counting after 8,569,721,358,772 questions this week. I think hehehe. Well I had fun by you keep in touch.
-Alejandra fregoso.

sigh... I didn't really like elementary school but there were those good time's. Cheers marissa....

~magdalena elizabeth last name

Dear Caitlin,
sigh. For the millionth time: I miss seeing you and a lot of other people everyday. Dominic is still in love with that bear you gave him.... haha he named it and evrything. Remember when you used to say holy moses? I also found a lot of notes that you wrote me. It made me sad and happy at the same time. here are some of my favorites:(First in English and then some of your spanish ones. AND Everything is EXATLY how you wrote it.)

(sticker of a hamster) Mr. Chub...he is a little chubby hamster!
'Have an awesome (totally radical) weekend.'

'p.s. Remind me to tell you that pirate joke!!!'

'When I saw you today...I felt as though I hadn't seen you in a LONG time! I almost hugged you... I KNOW CRAZY!!!'

'Oh must have been a lie (as my grandma used to say.'

'Pause. Looking at clock but have to get glasses out first.'

'Miss M! Mr. Lapiz has been taken and you must pay $1,000,00!!! By noon tomorrow. Good luck! -Kidnapper! '

*PAUSE* Cat, there are a lot more but I must get onto the spanish ones because they are just great...

'Well i do not have a lot to say as I am a BORING persona! '

'!So Sad! !Muy Triste! '

'Is that the right word o palabra?'

' I haven't written you a nota en forever! '

'p.s. you shal hear no 'meow'. '

' I forgot to show you my little amigo! '

'I will be super rojo.'

' I just had mi espanol examen.'
You are just so funny caitlin. I still need your cell phone number.
~mag

Dear Sarge,
How are things? I heard that you have a little more free time than usual. I hope that's relaxing in a way. I saw that fruit too...were they squash? I really have no idea but it was a nice picture for some reason. Also discussions on french toast toast and milk shakes sounds like fun.
Before I would not have wished you a happy fourth of july because I thought you were candian. Happy Fourth of july! I am still confused on some aspects of yourself but maybe they will unravel in time.
It is also getting extremely hot here...I once again wish it rained more often.
~magdalena

Dear Gold Award,
Why must you be so difficult? You make me feel guilty..... I think maybe I am posting this because I don't want to finish you. sigh...procrastination.

Dear everyone,
...............................................just keep going........ hopefully time will cure whatever is bothering you and I.

Graduation

wow.... what now? I am almost 100% positive that I'm still in the denial stage. oh crud-muffin...what if I go into the greiving/mourning stage while there are people around? That won't be good... I miss everyone already.

Miss Universe

Note to all girls with any type of self-image issue.... Do NOT I repeat do NOT watch Miss Universe. Especially the swimsuit portion of it. Who are they to choose women with bodies like that to represent our universe. What is that teaching any young girl. cheese and crackers

Dear Emotions, Nails, Jewelry

Dear Emotions,

I understand that it is not your fault but you are so flipping complicated. Why??? Does it really have to be this confusing? I don't like to pick fights and I am usually pretty flexible but YOU are always there. YOU are always inside of me no matter what. It's like you never give me a break. I mean, I even have debates with myself sometimes.....I don't even get the crazy drama that other people get either. I get mine mostly from signals (a very good friend of yours I imagine) and things that I assume. Assumptions get crazy too. oy..... I really appreciate you when you give me good feelings. On the other hand (stating the obvious) I do not appreciate the bad ones. I understand that suffering at a certain degree is something necessary in life but I really could use less of the bad ones. I shouldn't complain though. I have it pretty freaking awesome. I guess I just wish that it was a tad simpler. Thank you for the summer after ninth grade...I was a lucky one. I've heard of some really bad ones. haha Well I know you won't change but than you for your time anyway.

Yours Truly,
Magdalena

Dear Jewelry,

I know I have already mentioned you in an angry previous post called 'Don't Understand' but I am adressing it again. You really aren't that great. I don't mind you but there is a certain line that I will not cross. I am not saying that I do not like you either but I'll have to agree wth eddie that you are most definetly over-rated. Girls need to get over you and move on. Anything that fits on your finger and has come from someone that loves you unconditionally should be enough. I would rather be dirt poor and in love than satisfyed and comfortable. I would even rather live until I'm 30 and be in love rather then live 100 years and be just ok or have it be 'enough'. I am getting off on a tangent here and I have two more letters to write...

Yours sincerely,
Magdalena

Dear Acrylic Finger Nails,

You are very pretty but ya gotta go my friends. Please. You just need to let go. I can't pry you off like i did last time because you damaged my nails. I am asking you kindly to just fall off early or something. Thank ou for prom. You were very pretty but I seriously can't type or do a lot of other things this way. It's bringing me down guys. I am going to chop you (like my hair) soon. Just as an example From here on out I won't fix my typos. Yo are too long. When i hit somethinig weith you, you pull my reall nail along with it. Its no a pleasant feeling. Yoj are taking over and I won't llet you. I'll give you a few moredays to come off on your own. Comprendes?

Magdalena

Dear Petco Park and Padres,

Pecto. am excite to meet you for th firdst time tomorrow with th edominator. And padres i really hope you win because my brother loves you guys nad he is supper excited to watch you guys tomorrow. Tahnks :D

Magdalena

After

I won't be around much until after I graduate most likely. OLP has made a huge impact on me including the people I met. It is going to be hard to let go. Peace to everyone.

Naive

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Oops

Its almost 11 o'clock right now. Music man practices have been going to until about 9:30.

First let me explain community day. This is a day where my school puts on games and activites for one whole day instead of having classes. Its always right before finals second semester. I accidentally chose a theme for this crazy event. Usually the themes are pretty corny or cheesy but it went oerboard this time and its my fault.

I am in a class called campus ministry that helps put on community day. One day my teacher was asking people for ideas on theme. She said that it needed to be something really exciting. And then I ruined everything. I should have kept my mouth shut. I said, "Well what type of exciting? Cique de solei exciting?" Thats when my teacher went overboard and took my question (for her more of a comment) seriously. I was just asking her something. She went crazy and thought it was brilliant. So now our theme is 'Cirque de OLP'. What have I done to my fellow students at the academy? I am so very sorry to all students of OLP. I am sorry that you must now endure the cheesy theme of 'Cirque de OL P' for a whole day. There are already people complaining. I'm not sre if everyone knows that it was mostly my fault but again I am sorry.

Today I made another huge mistake. We paint posters for such events as this. Our campus is very clean and well taken care of. It would be a very bad thing for someone to mess it up in any way. While I was painting a poster today I picked up a bottle of yellow paint. I was in Aquinas hall. I did not check ti make sure that the lid was secure. I shook the bottle and the cap flew off splattering paint all over the hallway and one of the walls. Who does that? Who splatters YELLOW paint on the walls of an academy where the principal is extremely strict on keeping our campus nice? That person would be me. And just to make the whole situation worse, the principal saw the whole thing. Yes in the flesh. Sister dolores and Mrs. Favela saw the whole entire fiasco.

Fortunately Sister dolo did not come over to scold me but instead walked into the office with mrs. favela. Mrs. favela then came over to us to tell us (me in particular) that we needed to get the paint off quick because the principal was not too happy. This was probably one of the most embarassing moments of the decade for me.

oops

Blah

I have no idea what to write right now. So many random thoughts that I might explode... This is ridiculous. I am performing this week. We have 6 hours practices until thurs. which is opening night. haha After this week I have no life anymore. :P I will need people to keep me pre-occupied. tata

Vulnerability

I have learned a huge thing about myself during all of this. I am not so great with vulnerability. I have taught myself how to avoid attatchment in certain situations so that I wouldn’t get hurt or expect anything. It is easier that way but I don’t see it as a good thing. One of my best friends helped me see this. How am I supposed to experience anything or be able do do other things without taking that risk of being hurt? How. It certainly is the truth but I may wait just a little while longer. At some point I will just have to let go of that thing that blocks me from becoming attatched. But will I be able to?

Signals

Emotional signals are extremely complex but are easily read. I realized too late what I had done. It wasn't fair for you. Mixed signals are the worst and I was being stupid. I regret it happening. I regret acting the way I did. It was a contradictory thing to what I felt. I sent the wrong signal. I should have been more honest. It was something that I should have realized right then. I'm not sure if I can fix it or create a less confusing ending but I'll try.

Panic

Panic is starting to dawn upon me. I'm getting flickers of it. I will probably never see a lot of my friends in about 3-4 months. Missa is going away. I will force myself to call caitlin....or I'll visit her work. I have no idea where steph is going. Ash is going to new york. Danielle is going away. I am going to have to go to college next year. I have no idea what I would want my major to be. The stupid application asked me a million wierdo questions including about 5 times asking whether I was married or not.

I have changed schools I think 5 times in my life. In all instances I did not like moving and trying to find new friends. I'm open to making neew friends. I just get kind of nervous. Ha. Oh ya. I am going to have to censor a lot of conversation topics because the male gender will be in classes with me.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to let go of OLP yet. I guess I'm just so comfortable in a bubble right now. I don't want it to burst yet. I just want this bubble for a little longer. A lot of the time I am okay with change. I'm not sure if I'm okay with this one though. High school is sort of a safe harbor. I'm not even freaking out completely yet. Keep in mind that I am only getting flickers of it. mid/late May it will really kick in. Is this what you call senioritis? I hate that word. It's extremely stereotypical(sp?).

It's going okay so far. I still have about 1 month and a half left. I'm still 17. We've been having music man practice everyday until 6. It's oober cheesy. One of the cheesiest musicals out there. We're on the decent level. XD It's still kind of fun though. I need to get some sleep now. I am slowly growing back into my regular sleeping pattern.

I hope everyone had a good spring break. :D

.:bye:.

Six Flags

I have this list that I made of things that I want to wite about later. Its a notepad. Whenever I think of something else I bust it out and write a little reminder. It's easier to write about stuff when I have reminders. But there's one that says 'Dream: wierd'. I don't remember it though..... so moving on.

A coulpe of weeks ago (?) I went to six flags. Extremely fun. I went on X-treme, tatsu, goliath, scream, round-up, and I can't remember any more right now. Tatsu was my favorite one. Most of the ones I went on had technical difficulties unfortunately. I wish i remember more.... It was awhile ago... I remember the first half of the day I went on three rides (I think) with eddie... and then 4 rides the second half of the day with catie, andrew, and nora. Well I went on round up with all of them but on goliath and scream with andrew.

ugh... this is bugging me now.. hmmm I remembered blurs of things happening.... Haha I remember laughing at the photoshopped picture of the dragon from tatsu. I just remember laughing a lot.... and getting cheek cramps...

ha the last time i had those was at the football game.... They are the worst kind. BUT its from laughing.... Does it cancel each other out then? Is it a it hurts so good situation? if you are laughing but it hurts your cheeks? hmm... sorry I used a lot of dots.

The next thing its says here is catie's birthday party. Unfortunately hardly anyone showed up. We have a lifetime supply of tamales, liter soda, some sort of beef, and hot dog buns....
Marissa and I tried to dig a hole through the earths core but we got lazy half way through. I meant to go in the water but it never happened. I need to go back soon......perhaps by myself.

My mom is showing her static thing to everyone. I saw some huge ones at the science museum in Boston. One of the best museums I have ever been to. I really liked the east coast but I don't know what I woud do without mexican food.

Yesterday marissa and I heard a wierd small squeaking noise. It was coming from my arm every time it moved and so we thought it was my bones rubbing together. hahaha we are nerds... we found out that it was the plastic wire in my bra.... I should have figured it out first...but it didn't happen that way XD...

I have nothing to do the rest of today and tomorrow which is wednesday. On thursday dominic is having a birthday party. And a jump for joy.. I love those things... I'm excited for that part. I don't know what else to write about right now so I guess I'll stop. :D I hope everyone has a good spring break.

.:bye:.

Title/Samoas

You know how difficult it is to name these posts? You think its easy but its not. lol
Like for this one it could have been various things like: How do you title? or Title confusion or something corny like that. I also noticed that my entries are becoming shorter and shorter. (note to marissa: check our photobucket account. You are caitlin are adorable in those photos.)

brb I'm @ my mom's classroom helping her.

Back. For a little while anyway. It's her 5th period right now. Physics. I still need to organize and file some stuff though. Haha I'm watching the office right now too. We bought one episode from here. Its the one where the branch closes. Jim just ricked dwight by saying that the coffee is poisned from 'future' Dwight. Hilarious.

Anyway. I have some stuff that I can write about right now I suppose. It was meant for my journal (haven't done that in awhile either) but I have some time right now.

Awhile ago I was at the library (the south chula vista library which is open on sundays and has a really cool fountain in the middle of it) and it was night. Whenever I go, I see the home of a homeless person. He has set up a small area for himself in the corner of the parking lot where its close enough to the construction that hopefully no one will bother him. He lives there and always has his bike chained to the pole nearby. Over the past couple of years I have seen him gain more and more basic posessions in his little corner. He now has small boxes that surround his area along with a cot thing in the middle of it under a sleeping bag. He also has a television and some other random stuff. I hadn't fully seen him until that night. I relly wanted to give him somthing....I didn't have any healthy food though. All I had was girl scout cookies. Samoas to be specific. I didn't know if they belonged to anyone because they were laying around in the car. Anyway, I was debating for about 5 min whether or not to go over and give in any. He was an african american man maybe in his 60's wearing a beanie watching television. I eventully got into my ccar and started it and decided to leave. My only reasons for not giving the cookies to him were what if he didn't want them? or what if he was insulted that I would give him food? There were a million questions like that in my head. I put my car in reverse but stopped in the middle of the parking lot on my way out. I grabbed the cookies and decided to go and give them to him. The debate was reaelly wierd. I debate with myself a lot but that time I felt skitsafrenic (I know thats not spelled right). It was kind of scary because I didn't know how he would react. I left my car running in the middle of the parking lot. (I shouldn't have done that) I jumped out and went up to him and said excuse me. I said, "Hi". He was welcoming and had a warm smile and said, "Why hello there". I was relieved. Then I said, "I was wondering if you wanted some cookies." I held them out. He took them and said, "Why thank you! That's very nice. You have a good night." I responded the same and left. I was happy that he didn't feel insulted by the cookies. I hope the rest of his life goes fairly well. I'm sure that thats not the last time I will see him.

I'll make new titles.....

Ransom

...is Easter. so Happy Easter everyone. And my cousin almost lit my grams on fire. She probably won't ever read this but I'm sorry I brought it up. It was extremely funny where as it would not have been if something bad had happened.

It is freezing out here in my garage. My mom is using the iMac. I can't feel my fingers. I wouldn't be able to type without looking at the keyboard.

haha Here is a ransom note that I will someday leave someone. (I'm sure marissa is probably sick of this by now)

DeAR mR. SMitH,

yOu'Ll nEVeR SeE cHarliE AGaiN
uNLeSS We rECiEVe ThE fOlLowIng
AmOUnT oF MonEY:

gOoGoL DoLLArs (iN cASh)

sENd to 2678 mIstY DRIve bY 4 p.M. on THurS.


haha hilarious..... I thought it might be funny if the ransom-note writer actually put his/her own address as the sending place.... That would be funny.

Everyone sleep well tonight. I must prepare myself for a day of doing nothing tomorrow. :D

.:bYe:.

An Upside Down Earth

How come we decided to look at the earth the way we did? Why don't we don't we look at the earth and say 'oh look the U.S. is right above canada'? Who decded that Canada would be above the U.S.? Why couldn't the map have been the other way where mexico was on top us? I'm not mad or anything. It's just wierd. And I am curious as to know who decided which way we would design and draw all maps in the future.

Our Capcity to Think

Our capacity to think for ourselves and express oursleves fully is largley determined by our vocabulary. We are able to express ourselves sufficient-ly by our ability to use certain words. Sometimes we are unable to express ourselves because we do not know how to say it. This means that an education is VERY IMPORTANT. For us to understand what is going on around us we must be educated. I could write for hours on this but I type slowly and There are a lot of words I can't spell. Maybe a little later.

?

I don't know if I heard this somewhere sometime or if I came up with it (its probably the first one), but I really like it.

Someday in the future by someone I want to be loved. No the friend/family type of love but the other one. And I don't want to be loved because I am beautiful. I want to be beautiful because I am loved. I want that person to think I'm beautiful because they love me.



THE END

.:bye:.

Congratulaions

This song is very very beautiful...my song of the month :P

Congratulations by Blue October Feat. Imogen Heap (another for sarge)

Is that seat taken
Congratulations
Would you like to take a walk with me

My mind it kind of goes fast
I try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu

I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. him.

My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My hearts

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu

And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
(You left me)
And I can't this
I can never take this back
But now I can't change your mind
can't change your mind
(You left me)
Can't change you mind
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)

Go away
Make it go away
Please.

Lenten Promise

I forgot to mention that I gave up cussing for my lenten promise. There really shouldn't be any reason to cuss if you think about it. They are just a certain sound that we form with our vocal cords that comes out of our mouths.

I've broken it about 4-5 times.... What am I supposed to do if that happens? If I break my lenten promise? I'm really trying my best though.

tata

One of My Dreams

Where has the time gone? I don't have a lot of it anymore.... : (

Everything is going ok I guess. I'll copy and paste something from my journal. I am going to try to not do this though because when I look back upon this and my journal I want them to be different.... :P Okay prepare yourselves because this little piece of an entry I made makes me look like the biggest loser in the world..... here goes.....

(I wrote this on Feb. 16)
Next topic: My dream! Dang it….I remember it but the feeling wore off.
I dreamt about being at this camp/retreat/touring thing. (Dreams rarely make sense so just go with it) Well I was apart of this committee that helped planned everything and stuff. We met in this weird half-circled room. It was long and wooden and the walls just curved and turned into the ceiling. The carpet was read and there were single benches lined up against the curved walls. We had like a break or something and people were moving around a talking. My mom was at the meeting but her attention was on something else. So I just sat where I was and stared off into space. There weren’t any people on my side of the room. Then I noticed this guy standing about 4 feet away from me. I was sitting and he was standing with his hands in his pockets looking down. He had a red polo shirt on and beige pants. He was extremely cute. (That’s a plus) He had light-tan skin and his hair was redish-brown and messy. He had a backpack on too. He looked up at me and smiled and I smiled back. He took a few steps closer as he took his hands out of his pockets. He looked like he was anticipating something and I just watched. He was now so close to me that I could touch him. His smile had faded but hhis expression wasn’t hostile or mean in any way. He bent down so that his face was an inch away from mine and I could feel his warm breath. Then he pulled his face away. He smiled and looked at the floor. I sighed, looked at him, smiled, and said, “Why didn’t you just do it?”. He looked back up at me smiling timidly. His cheeks were blushed. I would just like to mention right now that I probably would not have said that in real life. He was so cute….I don’t know how to explain it. He bent back down his face right in front of mine and kissed me. His lips were on mine for a few seconds and then he stood up right again. I could feel my heart beating fast. I couldn’t think. I just stared at the floor and when I looked up again he was gone. For some reason the meeting was dissmissed then. I wanted to see him again but I didn’t know where he was. I was driving with Missa in her car and Alyssa (her next door neighbor) was in the passenger seat. We were driving around some city where we were touring to look for a place to eat. I was telling them about him when I saw him walking along the street. I felt the blood rush to my head and I ducked. “Where is he?” missa asked. “He’s walking right there. He’s so hot. I can’t look at him.” I responded and ducked down even more. (Dreams are soo random) Later we were all on the touring bus we used to go around the city and I saw him. He was sitting on the other side of the bus. We saw each other and smiled again. We couldn’t seem to stop doing that. For some reason we wanted to keep it a secret too so we didn’t just go up to each other. On our way out of the bus we ran into each other and I whispered, “Which cabin are you staying in?” He replied, “The one on the left. Meet me there later.” Later that night when we were back at the camp, I met him in front of his cabin. We went by a tree behind the cabin. We stood facing each other still smiling and held our hands together. I don’t remember which one but one of us said “What do we do now?”. I don’t remember anything else that happened besides us being wrapped in a blanket together by the tree.

I give you permission to laugh at me.... really. I'll try and actually write something next time. I have nothing else to say.

.:bye:.

Valentine's

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone.

Today our school was flourishing with balloons and flowers. More than other schools I'm thinking because its all girls at mine.

This could get very mushy, considering its me so this is a warning.
Most people feel like they need somone intimate to feel loved on Valentine's Day and that is simply not true. It may feel a little lonely but it pretty much celebrates everyone you know; the people you love and the people who love you. Even those people who don't even talk to you and admire you from a far.

I trust that someday God will bring me to someone special but until then I celebrate by loving ALL of my friends and ALL of my family. I LOVE THEM ALL!!!

Everyone deserves to be loved. And Everyone needs to be, so if you feel like no one does I'd just like to say that I love you. I know that there are people I dislike, if ever they came to me in need of help, I would try my best to help them. So there. Soak this in people...


Things have gotten a little crazy recently and so I haven't had much time.

I need to do a lot of government homework...including my brief for my debate. (unfortunatley I must lie completley anti-immigrant....at least I'm not the group who has to fight for denial against global warning...Global warming can't be doing too many good things.)

.:bye:.

Say It

I really think that its a pity when someone feels too uncomfortable to just say I Love You. I hope that my future children should think differently than that. I will teach them to express themselves in that way just as my parents have taught me.

Some people don't hear from their parents that they love you without condition. I am again one of the lucky ones.

.:bye:.

p.s. time is going way too fast....only 4 months of high school left.