Catie

I am SO angry that she did this. Its overwhelming. I feel like I could punch a cliff and make it shatter. I feel like I could scream loud enough to shake the world.

But

I'm so worried sick about her. I'm so worried for her well being.

She's been through so much. We've been through so much with her.

It hurts to be me...

It hurts for her to compare herself to me. It hurts me that she does this it makes me want to be a bad person so that she cam feel better about herself.

She is such a good person but she is so self destructive. She is so emotional. She is so impulsive.

It cuts me on the inside that she suffers so much.

I've prayed to God to let bad things happen to me, to trade for some happiness and well being for her. Just let everything happen to me. Let my life crumble. Let me lose everything so that she can be happy.

I love her so much. I would do anything for her. I would trade anything. Give up anything. Go through anything so that she could live a normal happy life without being so self destructive.

Take me God. Take me...

Please take me. Let her live. Let her be happy.

I am stronger than her. I can bear it. She cannot. And I can't lose her...

I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this here. I hope she gets out next week i hope she doesnt do time. I wish I could do the time for her... I need to go home.

Thank God for Mayte
Thank God for Brandon
Thank God for Eddie