Again/ Honest Idea

I feel just fine again like I did after school yesterday. I hope it doesn't come back later tonight.
I need to eat something and then go to the library to study.

Its alomost 3:30....and I can feel it coming back again. Crap. I hadn't really eaten anything all day and when I still felt normal, I ate something when I got home. I knew that the feeling came back the second I lost my apetite. I felt like I wanted to puke. I felt like I was done with it and that it wasn't going to come back, but I was wrong. Its like a disease that takes over my emotions. It puts pressure on my train of thought and fills me with sadness. I hate it. I need to go to the library before I spend all of my time on the computer to distract myself.

I am just going to be honest with myself and say this. Its a little embarassing. I think I feel sad because Twilight is not real. I'm not sure but thats my best guess. When I read it, I don't feel sad anymore. When I stop I come back to reality and the pain flows through me again. I hope I don't cry again. How pathetic is this? I also hope its just a phase. I've had them for other books too but not this painful or as long. I hope I get over it like I do the rest. I am going to the library now to try and focus.

.:bye:.

4:20
The sadness is almost full blown. When I got to the library, I realized that I forgot my economics book(the whole reason I went pretty much). I am overtaken by the feeling of remorse. I think I might cry again. I can't stop listening to 'claire de lune' by Debussy. I'm going to take a nap and then go back to the library.

6:27
I am doing this because I don't want to make too many posts. I feel ok right now I think. I took an Hour and 1/2 nap. I need to get to the library. I'll be back later.

8:03
I feel a lot better AND I got some work done. Is it gone? I don't know. It might creep up again. I'll write here if it does. I am so glad that I feel mostly normal right now.