Things are so complicated now.
They are turning into a path I did not forsee.
I feel like I was hiking and I fell and rolled down a hill and found a new path on accident.
I can't let him in right now. It would ruin everything.
For now I just need to not think about it. If I can. And I will try but probably fail...
But it's been growing. Like weeds in my front yard. I thought I had pulled them all that first year when I saw that nothing happened. But I was wrong.
I think I missed one. On purpose? On accident?
And it grew. And it spread. And now it is this!
I just need to concentrate on what I have left with Brandon. I'm going to spend a few days with him starting today in a few hours. I need to focus on that. I'm actually really excited to see him and spend time with him. I do love him.
Even though I've stumbled upon this accidental path. Or maybe it wasn't an accident?
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