Ow Ow

I don't know where these come from. Maybe its from my stress or maybe I just think too much sometimes, but this pain is horrible. Its the worst kind of pain that anyone can have. I panic. I just lie there and try to hold myself together. I get sharp pains in my hands and in my chest and I feel like my reality starts to collapse. I feel like my world can't be happy without him. Its not complete without him. The way he holds me is better than anything in this world. It calms me and makes me feel safe. It makes me happy and satisfied. I realize that I love him so much that he is apart of me now. Even if I end up marrying someone else someday, he has made me who I am today. He has shown me love that I didn't think existed. Sometimes he feels like my everything. Its hard to be away from something like that and it causes me to panic. I'm going to try to sleep again. Maybe if I focus hard on whats on my tv, I can actually sleep.