Weird Bad Dream

So I know I have weird dreams but I have bad ones too. And this one was weird and bad at the same time. It felt so real and it was super depressing.

Brandon was having a huge party at this huge mansion that he owned. He didn't tell me about it but I figured that he just forgot to tell me or something. So I put on a black skirt and a button up collared white shirt. I wore my hair down and some gold necklaces and bracelets along with some heels that matched the outfit perfectly. I had a gift for some reason. I'm not sure if it was his birthday or not. So I got there and the mansion was HUGE. I knocked on the door and no one answered but I heard plenty of noise like talking people and music. I opened the door and let myself in but no one was inside the house so i followed the noise out back to his back yard. There were a lot of people there and there was music and food and the back yard was huge and beautifully decorated. I looked around trying to find Brandon. I found him across the yard. He looked happy and he was talking to his friends. He also had a drink in one of his hands. I was so shocked to see what I saw. He was holding hands with another girl. She was talking to his friends too. And she looked happy too. She was wearing a dark purple dress and a really cute purple bow in her hair. She looked a lot like me except prettier. Waaay prettier. She was shorter than me and skinnier and her hair was long and perfectly wavey. She was wearing heels that matched perfectly with her dress and bow and she was standing close to Brandon. I frowned. I didn't understand...there had to be some mistake. I started walking towards them ready to hear a good explanation for what i was seeing. As soon as I got close enough I took both their hands and tore them apart and took Brandon's hand in mine. Brandon was mine. Why was this girl holding hands with him...? I scrunched my face as I looked at her and she looked back at me shocked at what I had just done. Almost instantly Brandon turned his head to look at us and then his face turned disgusted as he saw that he was now holding my hand... He shook my hand away and took a few steps away from me. "What are you dooing??" he said. He looked like he was angry and I couldn't believe what he was saying. I took a few steps backward and then turned around and started running. I felt like i was falling apart. I felt like I was being torn from the inside out. I dropped the gift I had for him as I was running and I started sobbing. I could hear that he was running after me calling my name. Running somewhere he could see me would do no good because he would eventually catch up with me so as soon I got into the house I ran upstairs. It was such a huge house that it would take forever for him to find me. But I wanted him to find me. I wanted him to see what he had done to me. I ran two floors up into a random bedroom and then into a closet and I fell to the floor crying. I don't remember how long I sat there sobbing my eyes out. I heard someone coming and I stood up. Tears were still flowing down my cheeks and stood facing the door. My hair was so messy and my eyes were puffy from crying. Brandon knocked on the door and said, "Are you in there?" I covered my mouth and couldn't stop myself from sobbing out loud again. He opened the door. I couldn't look at him and I turned around. "I'm sorry..." he said. I didn't move. I wanted so badly to forgive him. But how could I? How could I tell him that after I had given him almost everything that I had, that it was okay that he was holding hands with another girl and when I held it he shook me off like a disease. He didn't know what it did to me. But I needed him. "Come here..." he said and he pulled me into his arms and held me. He took me to the bed in the bedroom and he laid there with me until I stopped crying. "I'm sorry" he said. I didn't feel like he meant it but I was so desperate to just keep him for myself that I forgave him. I told him that it was alright. I told him that I forgave him for doing what he did. I needed him and I was willing to do anything to keep him. We laid in the bed for awhile just staring at each other. He took my hand and led me out of the bedroom. We went to blockbuster and rented arthur and came back to the mansion. His friends were watching tv downstairs and me and Brandon went back upstairs and watched the movies until we fell asleep.

Then all of a sudden I was in the park and I got a phone call that my grama had died. I started crying again. I tried talking to people but no one seemed to care except for me. I fell on the grass and cried and cried. I kept screaming out to her like she could hear me, "Grama come back! Come back pleease! Please come back!". I cried and yelled for her for hours and woke up in my dream and rosie was there. I told her how I had a dream that our grama died and she said oh. And then I woke up for real.

These two dreams were so weird. But bad. I hate waking up feeling like I've been crying. I'm supposed to feel refreshed when I wake up. Everyone has to have their fair share of nightmares though I guess.

-mag