Tracy

So I know for a fact that you check this regularly. I'm not exactly sure why but I now know its not because you care about what I think about. Maybe its because you might think I would write about you a lot? Maybe Its because you are nosy? I don't know but for whatever reason I've decided to take advantage of this.

#1. Your reason for ending our friendship: Firstly you said because I left you stuck with living with a stranger. Which you did when you moved onto this floor. I do apologize for that. I did apologize for that but I don't think its a good reason to call me a back stabbing friend because of it. The other reason you claimed to 'step back' from our relationship is because I held back during the Jeff situation. Well guess what? Ben or Brian didn't really step into that situation either but for some reason you were mad at me for 'holding back' because I was being 'dishonest'.

#2. REALLY Pissed me off when you said that you had apologized when there was no word in your sentence that was 'sorry' or 'apologize'. Don't get it. I even have proof. I recorded the whole conversation to go over just to make sure I wasn't crazy hearing some of the things you said. And honestly I don't care if you get mad at me for it because there were people outside the door listening anyway.

#3. You called me immature. You called me immature for being wishy washy. Story of your life Tracy. Even Ben and Brian hate it when you're wishy washy.

#4. We were all trying to have a serious conversation and you started laughing at me. And you called me immature? Don't get it.

#5. People who cry from time to time can have backbones. If I didn't have a back bone then I wouldn't have fought back that night. The fact that I cry won't stop me from getting a job in the real world. Pff

#6. You were mad at me for 'holding back things from you' when you are holding things back still. Why don't you confront Marina about how she annoys you? Are you being dishonest then? Why didn't you tell me that you were mad at me when you got mad at me? You held it back for two weeks. You threw away our friendship away because of it. You weren't really my friend then. If you had cared about being my friend then you would have tried to talk to me or work it out. You held back. Dishonesty.

#7. Jeff and I cared about you as a friend and whenever Ben and Brian said things about you, we always kept our mouths shut. I don't care if you go to them and talk to them about it because they'll just make up some excuse like 'we tell you everything anyway.' Well remember that time you confronted ben about roy's ramen? After that I kept my mouth shut or you would have confronted ben and brian a lot more often. And if they really 'didn't care' if everything they said got back to you then they would say it to your face, not to me or jeff.

You meant a lot to me which was why I was crying a lot of the time. But apparently I wasn't the same for you. Ben and Brian meant a lot to me too. You always came through for me as a friend until that night. I honestly think that you just created the situation for your own reasons. Maybe you're addicted to drama? Maybe you just never liked me and now you had an 'excuse' to get mad at me? There could be a million reasons and I think I get the general idea.

After the dance thing I wasn't surprised that Ben or Brian made up the excuse that my standards for a friendship were too high. I guess we all have different opinions of what friends are there for. I have never, however, heard that before in my life.
I didn't expect this kind of thing from you though tracy.

I am sad that we all couldn't stay friends because we had some good times and I really enjoyed hanging out with you all. But even a lot of the people on the floor came through for me more than you guys did. And I thought I was closer to you.

I know you'll read this and you might even go to ben and brian and tell them and show them. Go ahead. They can reassure you that I'm being the unreasonable one. That's what you want isn't it?
Go ahead and tell your other friends or your sisters or brothers. Tell them that I was crazy and childish and a bitch. They'll all reassure you too. Tell you, you aren't crazy. They'll be on your side like you want.

You can tell as many people as you want. I have nothing to hide. I even have the conversation if you want me to send it to you so that you can show them.

You might even just tell ben and brian just the bad things in this blog. You might tell them certain things so that you'll look like the good person in this situation. You probably won't even tell them that you talk about marina or any of the other things that you've told me.

I don't care though. Because in the end, you and I both know the real reasons you created this situation. You and I both know why you chose to end our friendship like this. Even if I'm the only one that knows, that's enough for me. I only hope that you can realize it yourself and admit it to yourself so that the next person that opens up to you can keep the friendship they make with you.

I cared about you Tracy and I'm extremely hurt and disappointed that you said and did these things.

But I'm not alone. I have a lot of people I can depend on so that I can move on. I wish the same for you.